1. Let El Paso secede from Texas and become part of New Mexico.
2. Let Canada secede from the United States.
3. Let Alderan secede from the Galatic Republic.
4. Have the president attend a Fark.com party.
5. Deport everyone that signed a petition to secede.
6. A petition to regulate porno.
7. Let everyone punch Grover Norquist in the dick.
8. Have a motorcycle-only judicial system.
9. "Legalize crystal fucking weed."
10. Let Atlanta secede from Georgia if Georgia secedes from the United States.
Andrew Kaczynski is a political reporter for BuzzFeed News and is based in New York.
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