Male, 30, from Virginia: He just wants to kiss.
Male, bi-curious, 46: She's looking for a couple to get down with.
Male, 30, muscle, government lawyer: He wants to grab a drink and complain about Ted Cruz. Also, sex.
Male, white, 33, muscle: He wants to relieve the shutdown stress.
Male, slim, interested in anything really: Looking for some pre-shutdown fun.
Male, wants no gag reflex, fond of including pictures of his penis: With the shutdown, he might be free all day.
Male, 39, looking for drinks "(and more?)": The shutdown might ruin his plan.
And, of course, the missed government shutdown connection...
Andrew Kaczynski is a political reporter for BuzzFeed News and is based in New York.
Contact Andrew Kaczynski at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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