andrewd12

(Continued from Above) Silly Lines.... -I thought I made a mistake once, but I was wrong. -I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous. -Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. -Trees don't fall in the forest when no one's around to hear them. Sometimes they just happen to be on the ground when you see them again. - I sometimes feel alone and insignificant, especially when people turn out the lights while I'm still in the bathroom. -A metaphor is like a simile. -Solution to two of the world's problems: Feed the homeless to the hungry. -A toast to bread, for without bread, there could be no toast. -An optimist says "Good morning, God", a pessimist says "Good God, morning". -Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs? -A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother. -Five out of four people have trouble with fractions. Did You KnoW?? -The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with. -If you keep a goldfish in a dark room, it will eventually turn white. -No word in the English language rhymes with month. -One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today is because cotton growers in the '30s lobbied against hemp farmers, they saw it as competition. -Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand. -The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. -The most common name in the world is Mohammed. -The sentence, "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter in the English language. -The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes. -The word "lethologica" describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want. -You can't kill yourself by holding your breath. A few more of my favorites... -The cigarette does the smoking, you are just the sucker. -No one dies virgin, Life fucks Everyone... -My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it's gone -The word 'Politics' is derived from the word 'Poly', meaning 'Many' and the word 'ticks' meaning blood sucking parasites -Happiness is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth -Children in the dark cause accidents. Accidents in the dark cause children -Dont steal, the government hates competetion -The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on blah.. i own an asian sweatshop in my basement.. worked by mexicans who make me quality tacos. Usually they dont cause much trouble, but somtimes the Mexicans steal my water.. blah..

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