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    Posted on Jan 30, 2015

    29 Stages Of Getting Your First Tattoo

    It's the most liberating and terrifying thing that you will ever do.

    1. You've seen it in movies, friends have it, you've walked by the tattoo parlour plenty of times, And you've always thought, "should I get one?"

    2. You Google intensely, searching for the right design, nitpicking every single image that crosses your screen.

    Sony Pictures

    Pro Tip: Scan Instagram, rather than Pinterest and Google for more accurate images of the final product.

    3. But before that, you will Google about the entire process of getting a tattoo.

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    And get completely confused by everyone saying, "it's a different kind of pain." AM I GOING TO CRY OR NOT, GODAMMIT.

    4. And probably Google how to get rid of a tattoo as well.

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    5. Eventually, you'll narrow down what you want, and figure out which body part would best display the design.

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    You will realise that getting that dolphin on your neck as previously planned was ill advised, and find a more appropriate location.

    6. And finally you decide that you're going to get inked and scar your body for the rest of your life.

    7. And despite your parents' dismay and friends' advice, you've decided to go ahead with it.

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    8. If you're getting a tattoo with words, you will (or you should) proofread it a hundred times.

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    And then a hundred more, for good measure.

    9. And if it's in a different language, you will exploit all your friends that majored in foreign languages.

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    Google translate isn't always accurate.

    10. You will proceed to ask your best friend if the design you've chosen looks good.

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    About a half a million times.

    11. After showing your best friend your design a bazillion times, they may avoid your calls and texts for a while.

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    Don't worry, they'll come around by the time you say, "I'm ready, come with me."

    12. You then go over to the tattoo parlour, confidently, ready to get this done.

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    13. You then, panic, of course. Running home and forgetting that you ever wanted a tattoo in the first place.

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    Which is okay, it makes sense to be jittery about permanently scrawling something across your body.

    14. After a little bit of thinking, you decide that you actually do want this, and can do this.

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    15. You make that second trip to the tattoo parlour, and actually go in this time.

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    With your best friend at your side, of course.

    16. You survey the environment, and wonder if this it's sterile enough to risk letting a needle pierce your skin in.

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    17. When you're satisfied that you won't contract a disease, you go ahead and tell the tattoo artist exactly what you want, and how you want it.

    18. You sit there nervously waiting to see if he/she has any suggestions about your design, or worse, that he can't do it.

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    19. Finally, you get that look of assurance that everything's fine and we can begin.

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    You get a brief moment of relief.

    20. And then he gets out the needle and you have a mini panic attack at the sight of it.

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    Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry.

    21. At the first touch of needle to skin, you feel an intense pinching pain, and wonder if you can actually go through hours of this.

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    Your best friend tries to calm you down, while they feel more pain by you crushing their hand, than you actually getting the tattoo.

    22. After a few minutes, your body gets used to the pain, and you think to yourself "This isn't so bad."

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    23. fter a substantial amount of time, you’re so uncomfortable with the position your body is in.

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    24. Which will almost allow you to forget that someone is actually making a thousand tiny holes in your body. Almost.

    25. Which will lead you to think a hundred thoughts before the tattoo is done.

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    "What if he doesn't do it right?"

    "What if I get bored with this in a few years?"

    "What if my company fires me if they find out I got a tattoo?"

    "WILL I DIE OF AIDS?"

    26. And while you're having a mini crisis on the table, your BFF will be taking a thousand pictures that they will later upload to all platforms of social media.

    27. But before you know it, it'll be over.

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    Nailed it.

    28. And finally, you'll realise that whatever happens, this decision to scar your body for life was yours, and yours alone...

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    29. ... And you can't wait to do it again.

    Fox 2000 Pictures / Via tee.mybigarchive.info

    #AddictedtoInk

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