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    The 28 Worst Things That Can Ever Happen To A Pot Head

    Puff, puff, puff, puff, puff, puff– PASS, DUDE!

    1. When you have all the necessary joint-making supplies on hand, and then realize you're out of rolling paper.

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    2. Then checking your emergency stash and discovering that's empty, too.

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    3. Or worse, when you've smoked so much already that you've forgotten where you've hidden the supplies.


    Well, anyway, while you're searching at least you'll find a whole bunch of stuff you thought you'd lost. HELLOOOOO, Harry Potter DVD box set.

    4. Rolling a great joint, then realising you don't have a lighter just when you're about to spark it.

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    There's always the stove. Just try not to burn your face off.

    5. When there are too many people in the circle and that one dude takes more than three puffs.

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    It's puff, puff, PASS. Jackass.

    6. When you have the munchies but you open the fridge and it's empty.

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    And the subsequent guilt-ridden revelation that it was actually YOU who finished all the food.

    7. Then you decide to order in, but it's too late, and everything is closed.

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    Even McDonald's won't deliver. What is the world coming to.

    8. And if you manage to find someplace open, your insane paranoia results in a flood of unnecessary pleasantries during your exchange with Dominos delivery dude.

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    *He knows I'm high, he knows everything, everyone knows. Oh God*

    9. Your long time dealer goes out of town.



    10. Or ever worse, they decide not to deal anymore because they're turning over a new leaf.


    New leaf? This makes NO SENSE.

    11. When you have to carry out a conversation with your landlord/parents/boss after you've just smoked a fat one.

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    *Holy shit, what did he just say?* Please don't evict/ground/fire me.

    12. Getting home baked outta your mind, and trying not to break things/fall over/make an excessive amount of noise and wake everyone up.

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    Yep, that's probably going to go well.

    13. When people start talking about serious things and your high is under threat of coming down.

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    14. When people around you start discussing politics and global conflicts and stuff, and your brain turns into this:

    15. When you're offered brownies, you take a bite, and you realise they're actually just brownies.

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    I think you forgot the secret ingredient. Drugs. The secret ingredient is drugs.

    16. When you have an insanely good idea that you know will win you points with your boss, but you've smoked so much that you forget it instantly.

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    17. So then you start writing down all the "brilliant" ideas you have when you're blazed... But when you read through them sober, you realise you're an idiot.

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    Ice cream pizza sandwich. It's the next big thing. Trust me.

    18. Your eyes are teeny-tiny and red as all hell, and you have places to be, but you can't find your eye-drops.

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    19. Not understanding why, if there are smoking rooms in airports/offices/hotels, why there aren't any toking rooms.

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    20. Eating enough for the entire table after smoking, and then realising that everyone is looking at you.


    (JK, in reality, no one is looking at you. You're just stoned and paranoid.)

    21. Also the sheer fear of walking past a dog (any dog), even when you don't have any stash on you.



    22. When people give you business cards that are not square, and you can't use them as roach material.

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    "What the hell am I suppose to do with this? ACTUALLY use it to contact you in a professional setting? LOOOOOOOL k."

    23. Hearing this question every time you recommend a film/book/TV show:

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    To be fair, Mad Men moves a whole lot faster when you're stoned.

    24. Not having a "weed guy" in your neighborhood/friend-circle/office.


    Life would be so much easier if you didn't have to go all the way across town to score.

    25. When you hear a song with police sirens built in, and you're like "Holy shit, they know!"

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    26. Desperately needing water but the bottle is too far away and you're sinking into the couch.

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    The couch will never let you out of its grasp. Never.

    *dies of cotton-mouth*

    27. When you move cities, and you have to find a new dealer.

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    28. And, of course, just not having any ~supplies~ when you really, really just want a hit.

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