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A Handy Guide For Having Casual Sex In India (And The Rest Of The World)

Step 1: Dudes hate condoms. Make them wear a goddamn condom.

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After a friend asked 24-year-old Naomi Barton what the rules are for casual sex, she began a Twitter thread with the thought of educating those who might have the same query.

She told BuzzFeed that her friends went into a shame spiral after having a one-night stand. "She literally said, 'what are the rules? Because the rules for fucking people casually are very different from dating," Barton said.
Naomi Barton

She told BuzzFeed that her friends went into a shame spiral after having a one-night stand. "She literally said, 'what are the rules? Because the rules for fucking people casually are very different from dating," Barton said.

So here we go. Let's discuss a handy guide for having casual sex in India, based on Barton's informative tweet thread.

It should be noted that this advice seems to be intended mostly for cisgender women who have sex with cisgender men, but some of the advice might be useful for pretty much anyone.

1. Always use condoms. It doesn't matter if you know the person or not. If you're fucking them make sure the guy is wearing a condom.

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2. Oral sex can also give you STIs. So you should use condoms for oral as well.

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3. You should get the HPV vaccine done before you have sex.

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HPV is responsible for virtually all cervical cancers.

4. Lots of STIs don't show symptoms at all, so it's best you get tested right now.

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5. One-night stands can be liberating and awesome, but you should understand that all partners react differently at the end of sex. Take care of yourself first, others won't.

6. If diving into kinkier stuff like BDSM, make sure all parties know what's what. Clearly articulate your safe words such that both parties are on the same page.

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7. Red-yellow-green are common terms for stop-careful-go (but clarify this with your partner before you get started).

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Sometimes, it's good to practice saying red beforehand, so that you're comfortable saying it when you actually want to.

8. Keep three things in mind, sex should be safe, sane, and consensual.

9. If you're trying anal, make sure you get cleaned up before going into vaginal sex. Vaginas get infections very easily.

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Also make sure that it doesn't hurt. If it hurts, even a little, stop.

10. Infections come from all places, so make sure you wash your hands before getting into any kind of sexual activity.

11. Whatever the situation make sure it is completely what you want.

12. And most importantly, do not feel afraid to talk about things. Whether it be with the person you're about to sleep with, your friends if you have any questions or thoughts, and even your parents if you have apprehensions about anything.

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Unsurprisingly, a lot of people shared Barton's thread, realising that it's an important conversation to have in a country that shies away from openly speaking about sex.

Barton told BuzzFeed that the response to her tweet was daunting. "I can't count the number of grown-ass women who said they had no idea about any of this. People messaged me saying they didn't know they could get STDs from oral sex. Across the board there was a strong sense that it's really terrible that we don't know this information."

Since a lot of the advice given in Barton's thread was focused towards women, Twitter user @lordoftheshibs did one for guys as well. You can check it out here.

You can check out Naomi Barton's entire thread here.

CORRECTION

HPV causes nearly all cervical cancers. A previous version of this post said HPV was responsible for 80% of cervical cancers.

Andre Borges is a social news reporter for BuzzFeed and is based in Mumbai.

Contact Andre Borges at andre.borges@buzzfeed.com.

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