1. All these kids arrive on time.
2. And they are provided with plenty of school supplies.
3. The bad boy actually shows up every Saturday for two months of detention.
I think not.
4. The library is huge, with multiple levels.
5. There’s a locker with a threat written on it and a noose hanging from it.
6. It takes several hours for a fight to break out.
7. Sneaking out as a group and not placing a lookout will probably work out fine.
8. But getting locked in a closet by the abusive assistant principal then falling through the ceiling is like, no big deal.
This seems like the basis of a lawsuit. Bender (Judd Nelson) is thinking too small.
9. High school is a place where you can keep your weed in your locker (overnight).
10. And detention is just an avenue for group-therapy breakthroughs.
11. You can have a dance party, and no one comes to shut that down.
12. Free makeovers.
13. Nine minimally supervised hours, yet no one has sex in that library.
14. The suicidal kid will do everyone's assignment while the couples are off making out.
Dick move, guys.
15. Speaking of which, what's with these love connections between people who disgusted each other a few hours ago?
No one has even been drinking.