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17 Times "The Breakfast Club" Offered A Totally Unrealistic Picture Of High School

Even by 1985 standards, Shermer High School is a ridiculous flight of fancy. Real detention (and real high school) is nothing like this.

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Universal Pictures / Via Mary Evans Picture Library, Everett Collection

1. All these kids arrive on time.

Universal Pictures

Not even the faculty is showing up at 7 a.m. on a Saturday.

2. And they are provided with plenty of school supplies.

Nope.
Universal Pictures

Nope.

3. The bad boy actually shows up every Saturday for two months of detention.

I think not.

4. The library is huge, with multiple levels.

Most public libraries don't even have branches this big.
Universal Pictures / Via Everett Collection

Most public libraries don't even have branches this big.

5. There’s a locker with a threat written on it and a noose hanging from it.

Universal Pictures

And no one’s taken that down? Nah, son.

6. It takes several hours for a fight to break out.

Universal Pictures/tumblr
Universal Pictures/tumblr
Universal Pictures/tumblr

7. Sneaking out as a group and not placing a lookout will probably work out fine.

Universal Pictures / Via giphy

8. But getting locked in a closet by the abusive assistant principal then falling through the ceiling is like, no big deal.

Universal Pictures/ Via giphy
Universal Pictures/Via giphy

This seems like the basis of a lawsuit. Bender (Judd Nelson) is thinking too small.

9. High school is a place where you can keep your weed in your locker (overnight).

Universal Pictures / Via giphy.com

And no one — not even Carl the janitor — boosts that shit? Also, why doesn’t Bender have a spot to keep his stash? Rookie.

10. And detention is just an avenue for group-therapy breakthroughs.

Universal Pictures/ Via giphy
Universal Pictures/ Via giphy
Universal Pictures/ Via tumblr

11. You can have a dance party, and no one comes to shut that down.

Universal Pictures / Via Giphy

12. Free makeovers.

Courtesy Everett Collection
Universal Pictures/Via tumblr

Unlikely.

13. Nine minimally supervised hours, yet no one has sex in that library.

Universal Pictures / Via Tumblr

C'mon, now.

14. The suicidal kid will do everyone's assignment while the couples are off making out.

Universal Pictures/ Via giphy
Universal Pictures/Via giphy

Dick move, guys.

15. Speaking of which, what's with these love connections between people who disgusted each other a few hours ago?

Universal/Via Everett Collection
Universal Pictures/ Via Everett Collection

No one has even been drinking.

16. Oh, and ripping a patch off a letterman’s jacket is not a good idea.

Universal Pictures / Via Youtube

They get pretty salty about that.

17. But, at Shermer High, detention is basically a sanctioned way for kids to hang out and be social.

Universal Pictures

IRL, it's not the hangout spot where you can light one up, do some energetic air/thigh drumming, and practice your gymnastics.

Universal Pictures / Via Giphy

It's just a few hours you have to get through with your aggro face on or be eaten alive.

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