1. It was just a day like any other.
2. Then the On The Run tour is announced, and instinctively you’re like
5. This is Jay Z…and BEYONCE….IN ONE PLACE…you start to slightly lose your sh*t
6. You and your friends discuss plans to buy tickets when they go on sale…
7. But then one of you (***the frustratingly responsible one) encourages everyone to check their bank accounts before getting too excited, and pretty soon it’s like
9. You try to keep it together, but knowing that Bey will be in your city and you might not see her is hard.
IT JUST IS, OKAY??
10. You almost give up hope, but then the Queen herself announces that pre-sale (read: CHEAPER) tickets will be available on her website for whoever can get them fast enough.
11. Thus begins the emotional process of waiting for your friend’s credit card info to load while she acquires the goods at a price that is expensive, yes, but that will not force you all into poverty.
12. Finally, it’s official. It’s happening. Life has meaning again.
13. It was a close one, but YOU ARE SEEING BEYONCE ***and Jay too (hi back there)!
14. In conclusion:
- BuzzFeed News exposes a secretive legal system that allows corporations to intimidate entire countries with one threat.
- Donald Trump's campaign CEO Stephen Bannon and an associate were accused of sexual harassment in a 1990s court case.
- And Apple has to repay up to €13 billion ($14.5 billion) in illegal tax benefits to Ireland, the European Commission has ruled.