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1. A silicone massage brush that boosts the effectiveness of your daily cleanser by adding some gentle exfoliation à la BPA-free bristles, which ensure your pores have been stripped of all remaining makeup.
2. A soft graphic tee you can consider office-appropriate attire. If you work for a paper company based in Scranton, that is.
3. Solaroil to banish the bane of your existence — weak and brittle nails with cuticles that look like they were mauled by an animal. This formula is so effective, I guess you can say it really nails it. Eh?
4. A food saver available in 13 yummy styles (Tomato! Lemon! Garlic!) to extend the freshness of fruits and veggies. "I love this from my head to-ma-toes." —you.
5. A paperback boxed set complete with the To All the Boys I've Loved Before trilogy. Would Laura Jean herself have her nose buried in these books? Probably.
6. A weekly hair mask that will bring your fried 'do back from the DEAD. This hydrates the heck out of dry, over-processed, color-treated manes and brings back that natural bounce and shine.
7. A cucumber toner lotion here to kick acne's derriere. This non-drying, non-irritating formula will disinfect your pores, prevent excess shine, and reduce icky bacteria — the kind that causes angry pimple apocalypses.
8. A sturdy under-the-desk mount that keeps heavy headphones out of sight, out of mind. No more shoving your expensive Beats into random desk/junk drawers!
9. A lightweight button-down shirt with a breezy silhouette you'll want to pair with your favorite denim. A look that is stylish and easy? Call me Britney because I'm saying ~gimme more~.
10. A portkey coaster that works pretty terribly, actually. If you put down a drink, expect to never see it again. It'll probably end up in Diagon Alley or something like that.
11. A fridge deodorizer you can fill with baking soda (or activated charcoal) to get rid of that STENCH. If your ice box has unbearable BO, consider this a 24/7 deodorant.
12. Caramel popcorn that will transform your next movie marathon night into one of delicious decadence. This is, according to reviewers, the best caramel popcorn you will ever consume.
13. A vanity organizer for all the mundane items you use on the daily. Whether it's hairspray or your overpriced perfume, consider it a small miracle that you'll now *always* be able to spot your deodorant.
14. A family-friendly card game that's similar to charades in that you draw or act out your card while your team attempts to figure out what the heck you're doing. Now good luck moonlighting as a unicorn riding a bicycle...
15. A racerback sports bra perfect for low-impact workouts. It's also made from a seamless, knit material for that ~barely there~ level of comfort.
16. A jewelry dish you can personalize with dates and initials. If you're searching for an anniversary gift, here is the sappiest (and most practical) present to buy.
17. A spring water facial spray that may seem like a regular can of water — but can a regular can of water sooth eczema, calm sunburn, reduce rosacea flare-ups, set your makeup, and refresh dull and tired skin? I think not.
18. Matty Matheson: A Cookbook for fans of — surprise — Matty Matheson. Learn how to make everything from bologna bowls to bomb lasagna, all while reading fun stories of Matheson's life in the culinary world.
19. High-waisted skinny jeans made from a luxuriously stretchy, soft denim that will have your leggings banished to your closet corner. These denim babies will be just as comfortable + look a lot more polished.
20. Heeled sandals with a platform capable of making you fall head over ~heels~ in love. Why? Not only are these ridiculously attractive, but they're also ridiculously comfortable.
21. A stainless steel whistling kettle so great, Kermit will refuse to sip tea brewed in anything else. This nifty thing is designed with an easy-pour spout, a stay-cool handle, and a removable lid that makes it SUPER easy to clean.
22. A waterproof pouch that certainly doesn't suck-ullent at keeping wet swimsuits, dirty socks, and gross leggings stowed neatly away in your gym bag.
23. A velvet swivel chair to turn your home office into a thing of chic beauty. Fire up that Pinterest app, folks, because you're about to file this under your "home decor inspo" board.
24. A waterproof ski jacket you'll want to pack for your next frigid vacation. Not only will this keep you warm and dry, but it is also designed with pockets large enough to hold your most essential items (like...your phone).
25. A unicorn stoneware mug because drinking coffee is a magical experience and I feel like your coffee cup should reflect that.
26. A twist-to-dispense click pen for when your best friends/diamonds are beginning to look dull. This formula will wipe away built-up gunk — a result of lotion, soap, etc. — to reveal a brighter, more breathtaking surface.
27. A brushed knit cardigan you'll want to store in your freezing cold office, where even Antarctica would seem warm in comparison.
28. A stress toy you'll want to squeeze whenever you're having a terrible day and in a bad mood. I guess this is the perfect thing to have when you've got a ~chip~ on your shoulder.
29. A perfume infused with juniper berry, magnolia, and papyrus wood scents — all of which come together to form a musky, citrus-honey fragrance you'll fall in love with at first spritz.
30. A bedside caddy because your nightstand is looking like a mess and you have no idea where the remote is. This convenient storage solution ensures that your nighttime essentials are tucked away into one neat little spot.
31. An odor-resistant, charcoal-infused sheet set that will continue to smell (and feel) fresh between loads of laundry — because let's be honest, who washes their sheets **every** week. Am I right?
32. Adjustable clip holders capable of turning your favorite bra into one that won't be visible under your racerback top. Plus, this keeps straps from falling and gives your breast friends some extra lift.
33. A mirror decal with a message to uplift your spirits every darn time you check yourself out. "Me? Beautiful?" *winks at the mirror* *possibly kisses the mirror*
34. Anti-bacterial cleaning tablets for retainers and dentures, because BOY do those things tend to get smelly. And a smelly retainer? Smelly breath.
35. A Funko POP! collectible figure of your favorite painter — Bob Ross! Get ready for feelings of zen and calm with this little guy planted next to your laptop.
36. An adjustable strap because it's time to stop carting around your yoga mat like a baby. Sling this over your shoulder and call it a day!
37. A cheat sheet fridge magnet perfect for days when you're missing key ingredients. Missing butter? Use mashed avocado or applesauce. Out of baking powder? Use cream of tartar and baking soda.
Me @ that unicorn mug:
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