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1. A soft throw blanket guaranteed to prompt a very interesting group discussion: are sloths actually lazy?
This is available in three sizes: 60 x 80 inches, 50 x 60 inches, and 30 x 40 inches. Plus, it's machine-washable!
Promising review: "I bought this for my friend's birthday and he almost died when he opened it. It’s super soft!" —Jessica D. Cirillo
Get the 60 x 80 blanket from Amazon for $64.99.
2. Polite wood coasters that will not get mad at your guests for staining the table. No sir-ee.
Promising review: "What can I say? These are BRILLIANT! They're really sturdy and work well." —Jay Tay Kuzara
Get a set of four from Amazon for $14.99.
3. A tree sculpture to add a bit of pizzazz to any old oak. This will definitely not scare away any visitors.
This sculpture is pliable, meaning it can wrap around your tree and actually stay put.
Promising review: "This molds and conforms to the tree so it looks like it's part of the tree itself. It looks like I hired a professional sculptor!" —Nicholas K.
Get it from Amazon for $36.96.
4. A golf game for anyone who wants to work on their hole-in-one skills...while doing number two.
This kit includes a green putting mat, two golf balls, a putter, and a flag stick.
Promising review: "Sometimes the stupidest things get the biggest laughs and reactions from your friends. My wife was not too happy about it, but this golf game is still in my bathroom. Lol." —bryanbogey
Get it from Amazon for $5.23.
5. Swimsuit-clad glass markers with a 100% guarantee that no one will lose sight of your wine.
6. A flexible brush to help introduce your friends to your cat. This will help them create an impenetrable bond right away.
This brush lets you "lick" and groom your feline friend, which in cat language means instant friendship with any new strangers. And since you obviously can't invite someone into your home that your cat doesn't like....
Promising review: "What can I say? Love is blind. This made me the laughing stock of my cat and all her feline friends, but it hasn't stopped me from using it and brushing her fur. This is easy to use and makes cats laugh." —Amazon Customer
Get it from Amazon for $24.99.
7. A skid-proof, quick-dry bathmat with a serious streaking problem. Your guests won't find it very a-peel-ing.
8. An illuminati storage box to trick people into thinking you're really good friends with Beyoncé. **
This storage box has a magnetic closure and comes with a sheet of mysterious stickers. Only a select few will be able to decode the cryptic symbols...
Promising review: "My son loves the Illuminati because of YouTube nonsense, so he loved this box. Maybe he will store his plans for a new world order inside. Plus, the stickers are a nice bonus and the box itself is well-made and attractive." —Tom Steele
Get it from Amazon for $5.56.
**I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
9. Cupcake molds you probably shouldn't buy. Anything you bake will probably decompose.
10. A sticker decal depicting the boogeyman of the bathroom: the horrible, terrifying toilet monster.
11. A panda plate to add a touch of sophistication and class to any dinner party. Obviously.
This ceramic plate is dishwasher- and microwave-safe.
Promising review: "I like the design, and the plate itself has held up great." —Amazon Customer
Get it from Amazon for $12.
12. A door stopper you'll want to scoop off the floor immediately. It'll make your tiles all sticky.
13. A 12" inch doll that will Poe-tentially creep the crap out of any of your guests. Particularly if they're named Annabelle...
Imagine setting the table and putting this doll at the head of it, lol.
Promising review: "Drab workspace or bookcase? Nevermore! Purchase your very own little Poe to display next to your growing collection of Poe anthologies. Bought this as a gift for a Poe-obsessed friend and she absolutely loved him, raven and all. He was actually much bigger than I thought he would be." —Ann R.
Get it from Amazon for $18.95.
14. A bottle stopper to guard your reds and whites. Talk about bae-watch, amirite?
Promising review: "These are awesome and cute. We passed a couple of these around Europe as tokens of friendship and they were an instant hit!" —Amazon Customer
Get it from Amazon for $11.
15. A White Walker mask kit that proves winter IS coming. It's really perfect for your...wall...
This kit comes with easy-to-follow instructions and three-dimensional cutouts that let you make your very own Night King.
Get it from Firebox for $19.49.
16. A cheese grater designed to give you some help from the Grate Lord himself, Cheese-us.
17. A garden gnome adored by his friends. His cheeky personality can win over any crowd.
18. An alien egg jar to guard your chocolate chip cookies from everyone: both human and non-human.
Get it from ThinkGeek for $39.99.
19. A coffee mug perfect for anyone with a potty mouth. You might as well embrace it, you know?
Me: "Would you like some coffee?"
Them: "Sure."
Me: "Okay." **whips out toilet mug**
Promising review: "This coffee mug is the perfect gift for your favorite bathroom dweller. This baby got a lot of laughs when it was unwrapped." —Michael Kowalski
Get it from Amazon for $9.99.
20. Ceramic salt and pepper shakers you'll have to remind your guests to NOT to throw out.
Don't let the packaging fool you — you can re-use these salt and pepper shakers.
Promising review: "I saw a friend had posted this on her Pinterest under a gift ideas board, and I happened to draw her name for a secret Santa gift. She flipped out when she saw I bought these for her! She used them right away at a potluck and everybody loved them." —Sorrelli
Get them from Amazon for $18.99.
21. A giant Big Foot statue that'll add a nice, whimsical touch to your front lawn. Every home needs one!
"Why is there a Big Foot in front of your house?" —anyone that ever comes over, ever.
Promising review: "This statue is awesome. The kids and I call him George. I bought this to put outside in my front yard for decoration, but I think it would get stolen. LOL. This is definitely a conversation starter and it does shock people the first time they see it. It came well-packaged and I've had no problems with it. I highly recommend." —Jeffrey Powell
Get it from Amazon for $2,226.
My future home, filled with very weird things:
The reviews in this post have been edited for length and clarity.
