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26 Really Fucking Weird Products You'll Want To Buy Immediately

For instance, The Secret Life of Squirrels: A Love Story and a bacon-scented stick-on mustache.

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6. Giant microbe plushies so adorably contagious, they'll get you sick immediately. Lovesick, that is.

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I'd love to cuddle with this stomach ache (left) and common cold (right).

Get them from Firebox for $11.49 (available in five different microbes).

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8. A rubber purse you should avoid traveling with. It absolutely refuses to cross the road.

11. A pen holder you cannot touch. It's a crime scene! Leave the pen alone! You'll contaminate the evidence!

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17. A secret agent in a banana disguise. Due to a string of crimes in the fruit community, this umbrella is going undercover.

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Unfortunately, members of the fruit community are catching on. They know something doesn't smell ripe.

Get it from Amazon for $11.99.

19. A neck pillow in the shape of a shrimp. While in use, your laugh will transform from a "har har har" to a "tar tar tar."

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21. A zipper pouch used to store all the important evidence of a case. It can also hold an excessive number of pennies.

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Unfortunately, evidence is often lost. You are very likely to lose this case.

Get it from Amazon for $6.95 (available in 16 designs).

22. A book that depicts ballerinas in action. It features several principle dancers from ACT: American Cat Theatre.

23. Peach-flavored gummies guaranteed to add sunshine to your day. They'll make you look at the sunny side of things.

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"Omelette you finish, but these candies are the great candies of all time. Of all time!"

Get it from Amazon for $8.99.

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