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26 Really Fucking Weird Products You'll Want To Buy Immediately

For instance, The Secret Life of Squirrels: A Love Story and a bacon-scented stick-on mustache.

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6. Giant microbe plushies so adorably contagious, they'll get you sick immediately. Lovesick, that is.

I'd love to cuddle with this stomach ache (left) and common cold (right).

Get them from Firebox for $11.49 (available in five different microbes).


8. A rubber purse you should avoid traveling with. It absolutely refuses to cross the road.

11. A pen holder you cannot touch. It's a crime scene! Leave the pen alone! You'll contaminate the evidence!


17. A secret agent in a banana disguise. Due to a string of crimes in the fruit community, this umbrella is going undercover.

Unfortunately, members of the fruit community are catching on. They know something doesn't smell ripe.

Get it from Amazon for $11.99.

19. A neck pillow in the shape of a shrimp. While in use, your laugh will transform from a "har har har" to a "tar tar tar."


21. A zipper pouch used to store all the important evidence of a case. It can also hold an excessive number of pennies.

Unfortunately, evidence is often lost. You are very likely to lose this case.

Get it from Amazon for $6.95 (available in 16 designs).

22. A book that depicts ballerinas in action. It features several principle dancers from ACT: American Cat Theatre.

23. Peach-flavored gummies guaranteed to add sunshine to your day. They'll make you look at the sunny side of things.

"Omelette you finish, but these candies are the great candies of all time. Of all time!"

Get it from Amazon for $8.99.