I Went Glamping In Manhattan: This Is What I Thought

When you're scared of flimsy tents but would still, on occasion, like to feel "one" with nature.

Camping is not my cup of tea.

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I have seen too many true crime documentaries to ever — and I mean, ever — work up the courage to sleep in a flimsy tent in the middle of a forest. If it's not murderers, it's bears. If it's not bears, it's bugs with many legs. Throw in the fact that I'm a light sleeper, and we've got ourselves a recipe for disaster. Waking up with every ruffling leaf? Thinking the end is nigh with every gust of wind? How about a no thank you.

But let me turn you on to something I am now very fond of: glamping.

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Yes, yes, it seems very Coachella-in-a-bad-way, but I promise it's actually self-care in the highest form.

I stayed overnight at a Collective Retreats location on Governors Island, and it was, in a phrase, luxuriously epic. The retreat is accessible by ferry and offers truly unparalleled views of the entire Manhattan skyline. You're in the middle of "nowhere," but you are also very much not in the middle of nowhere.

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*Governors Island is a 10-minute ferry ride from the Battery Maritime Building on South Street and is also accessible from Pier 6 in Brooklyn Bridge Park. 

You can check the full ferry info here, but note that Collective Retreats can arrange additional ferry service if these times don't suit your sched!

I stayed in the Summit Tent, an abode best described by the phrase "Pinterest dream." The space contains an AC, the bed is spacious and comfortable, there are plenty of lights and outlets, and the decor (think reading nooks and woven rugs) deserves many gasps.

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There's plenty of storage space, vintage-y binoculars for stargazing, a full-length mirror, zip-up mesh windows, and a front porch complete with reading chairs.

The tent itself is super sturdy and durable, and double-layered with a mesh lining that I assume helps keep the buggies away.

There's a private bathroom directly behind your tent, complete with a toilet, fancy sink, and rainfall shower.

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And don't worry about packing your bathing essentials because *this* bathroom is stocked with the good stuff: plush towels and robes, Byredo hand soaps and lotions, and Sangre de Fruta shampoo, conditioner, and body wash.

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And the skyscraper views are truly superb. You can see the Statue of Liberty or One World Trade Center from any point throughout retreat (look at this view FROM MY DAMN TENT).

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And of course, there's the FOOD. It's SO good here. Ready your palate for farm-to-table tasting menus at dinner, a bonfire s'mores kit before bed, and a breakfast buffet delivered right to your tent doorstep.

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You schedule your breakfast time upon arrival, and it's packed in an adorable basket that would make both Dorothy and Red Riding Hood jealous. And a note that breakfast and nighttime s'mores are included with your stay! 

Psst, you can still grab dinner on the island if you’re not an overnight guest. Reservations can be made on Open Table, and if it’s after normal ferry hours, they’ll arrange a water taxi to bring you to and fro!

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This meal was truly fantastic. We did the ferry to flame six-course tasting dinner and yum, yum, yum (this tasting menu was a separate charge of $150 per person and very much worth it). 

First, the drinks are delicious: Their Hammock Grove cocktail was especially wonderful (a combo of Empress gin, grapefruit, lychee, and lemon).  

And the actual dinner?! We had lobster smothered in lemon, ramp butter, and breadcrumbs, fresh ceviche, grilled mahi mahi, a very fine Waygu steak, a flourless chocolate cake with pistachio crumble and a raspberry glaze... 

Well, great, now I'm starving. 

There are also activities scheduled throughout the week: I attended a rosé tasting with an expert sommelier who deserves some sort of medal for answering my "Which is your favorite cheap wine?" questions, which I vaguely recall asking on 10 separate occasions.

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There was also a morning yoga session, which I...did not attend!

I highly recommend an overnight stay for New York City dwellers who don't have access to a car or a ton of time off to hop on a plane or schlepp four+ hours on a train, and who appreciate nature but prefer it in small doses.

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I woke up to the sound of birds and I think aggravated geese? — which was a nice break from the ambulance sirens and jarring iPhone alarm that I usually hear first thing in the morning.

And if you don't live in New York City, don't fret: Collective Retreats has five additional locations (many of which are slated to open next summer). Prices vary, but baseline "rooms" start at $395/per night!

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^Me, hating nature but loving the idea of peace and tranquility that this Collective Retreats can offer me, considering that I live in — truly — the loudest city on earth.