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1.A scalloped off-shoulder swing dress for shoulders that can't be tamed, à la Miley Cyrus in 2010. Never forget that iconic music video that began her departure from being known just as a Disney star.
2.A ruffled one-shoulder dress featuring a thigh-high slit for legs that feel like playing a subtle game of peek-a-boo. This is perfectly form-fitting without feeling too "I'm uncomfortable and my boss is here" revealing.
3.A crewneck knee-length dress best accessorized with fancy jewels and a clutch for that ~epitome of elegance~ kind of look. Look at you go, exuding serious Meghan Markle vibes.
4.A skater dress studded with pearls plucked from only the finest of oysters. Pearl earrings? Boring. Go with a dress covered in pearls instead!
5.A ruffled pencil dress you'll be grateful you purchased. When you have yet another "I'm not sure why I came to this" event — THIS is what you're going to wear. No more destroying your closet to find something decent. Just pull this out.
6.A velvet wrap dress so luxe, everyone will be convinced you squandered your holiday bonus on a fancy designer piece of clothing (exhibit A below).
7.An off-the-shoulder lace dress for anyone who doesn't really feel like going to their office holiday party. You only speak to your colleagues via email, the food will be subpar, but HEY — at least you'll look fantastic.
8.A lace bodycon dress that will become like those jeans in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. All of your friends, whether they're at soccer camp or vacationing in Greece, will be begging to borrow this beauty.
9.A fishtail bandage dress ironically named after the exact opposite of what it does. This pretty little number will have you breaking hearts, not bandaging 'em up.
10.A turtleneck sweater dress you can pair with black tights and booties for the ultimate ~dinner date~ look! The only thing that will be more exciting than your outfit will be the bread and butter resting at the center of the table.
11.A knee-length cocktail dress designed with jacquard lace and mesh detailing so gorgeous, some excessive swooning will definitely take place throughout the night.
12.A crossover hem wrap dress to have you shouting "THAT'S A WRAP!" as soon as you find it. Folks, your holiday party dress search is over. This is the one.
13.A swanky bandage dress because you can never really go wrong with a little black dress, particularly not during the holiday season.
14.A ~Square Neck~ swing dress that is the long lost cousin of a sponge that lives in the sea. I believe his name is Square Pants. Thanks, Ancestry DNA!
15.An off-the-shoulder cocktail dress to suffer the same fate as your favorite jeans or your softest tee. In other words, this WILL be worn all the time.
16.A shift dress you can pair with heels and a clutch (hello, office party) or leggings and boots (hello, movie and dinner date). This is ideal for people who appreciate the more versatile things in life!
17.A velvet skater dress guaranteed to have you jingling all the way.... to your purse so you can fetch your credit card. "Happy holidays to myself!"
18.A fit-to-flare surplice dress available in 51 colors. Will you want to buy them all? Yes. Your credit card might get upset but, alas, it's your life! Do what ya want!
19.An elastic waist one-shoulder dress sure to have Karen from accounting feeling envious. "Where the HECK did she get that?" she'll wonder from afar.
20.A sleeveless sheath dress made from a stretchy, figure-hugging scuba material that won't wrinkle as soon as you sit down. Looking polished and professional all day = a true Christmas miracle.
21.A knee-length fit-and-flare dress you can easily pair with black tights and killer booties for a more casual look. Dinner date with your friends next week? Consider your outfit covered.
22.A swing dress in desperate need of an attitude adjustment. This thing is constantly giving me the ~cold~ shoulder.
23.A knee-length plaid dress perfect for both sitting in your cubicle *and* heading to that "I'm dreading this" holiday party that you really don't want to attend. Grab some coconut shrimp and feel free to head out after about five minutes!
24.A swing dress that will become your favorite little black dress. PLUS, this baby is perfect for any season! Pair it with some denim in the fall, tights and booties in the winter, a fun blazer in the spring, and flip flops in the summer!
25.A fitted v-neck pencil dress you'll want to re-wear twice in one month. Facebook pictures be damned, because this pretty thing is perfect for both your holiday party ~and~ NYE.
26.An off-shoulder lace dress with a soft lining AKA the lace won't feel itchy or scratchy on your skin. Comfort over everything, am I right?
27.A vintage-inspired cocktail dress perfect for twirling around in circles, which should be captured into a Boomerang for your Instagram story. Obviously.
28.A Calvin Klein flounce hem dress that's even longer in the back, meaning you won't have to worry about length AT ALL. Raise your hand if you've ever been paranoid about your behind being exposed while at a public function.
29.A mini chiffon dress sure to seal in ALL the votes for the "Best Dressed" office superlative. Enjoy that $50 dinner voucher, you stylish winner!
30.A sleeveless cocktail dress that looks WAY more expensive than it actually is. Go ahead and let you colleagues think that you blew an entire paycheck on this thing... *evil giggle*
31.A skater dress available in holiday colors (surprise, red and green) as well as velvet styles that will make you look jollier than Kris Kringle himself.
Me and my work wives, showing up to the office holiday party looking extremely fresh: