Hey '90s Kids: Good Burger Officially Exists At This Nickelodeon Resort

Infinity pools, guava margaritas, and tons. of. slime.

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Sometimes I’ll jolt awake from a deep sleep and be filled with dread. I think, what could it be? What am I missing? And then I realize that, oh yes, I’ll have to live the rest of my years without having ever tried a Good Burger. It’s painful. How could I ever know happiness?

Nickelodeon

That is… until NOW. Situated on the shores of the gorgeous Riviera Maya lies the new Nickelodeon Hotel & Resort, an all-inclusive property that houses restaurants modeled after iconic (and until now, fictional) foods of '90s youth.

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Stays begin at roughly $424 per room (prices fluctuate depending on time of year) and everything is included in that cost: all the food you can eat, all the drinks you can drink, water park entrance, private beach access, plus daily activities like scuba diving and yoga. 

It's a pretty sweet deal when you figure you'll split the cost of the room with another person (and won't have to spend $$$ on the ground). 

This includes — drumroll please — a Good Burger! It's time to visit the original "Shake Shack v. In-N-Out" debate by chomping into a Mondo competitor, served in a retro space complete with classic fare (burgers and fries for the soul) and a squeeze bottle of Ed’s secret sauce per table.

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Great bun to burger ratio. Generous helping of secret sauce. Much better than the trash they serve at Mondo Burger.

There's also a Bikini Bottom Bar where you can order shrimp tacos and guava margaritas from a bar dripping in jellyfish light fixtures, now my ideal home decor.

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There are several more spots to grab grub on the resort — Piazza for delicious 'za approved by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles themselves, Yacht Club for breakfast with an ocean view, Nick Bistro for a character pajama breakfast, and Le Spatula for a buffet-style dinner complete with Spongebob episodes playing from a TV at every booth. AND there's 24-hour room service.

Maybe I shouldn’t wax poetic about a resort catered to young kids but dammit, I will. This place is just as fun at the age of 27 as it would’ve been when I was 8. I drank under an orange LED blimp at the Snick Lounge and fulfilled my lifelong dream of getting slimed. Evidence below: SLIME

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There’s an Aqua Nick Water Park with Bikini Bottom-inspired play areas for children (the target audience I suppose), a lazy river that is very much my speed, AND sky-high water slides that are not for the faint of heart.

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And Nickelodeon embellishments aside, the rooms themselves are gorgeous: each one comes with an ocean- facing balcony and infinity pool. Every. single. one.

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The infinity pools are more for relaxing than they are for lap swimming, but the ground pool is huge *and* has two swim-up bars appropriately named Cosmo and Wanda.

There’s also rainfall shower heads and deep tubs in the rooms, FYI. 

Prefer sand between your toes to chlorine in your hair? No problem. Private ocean access is yours just steps from the Bikini Bottom Bar.

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The water is stunningly clear and there are lounge chairs and umbrellas already set up for ya. 

Anywho, to wrap this up with a neat little bow — the new Nickelodeon Resorts & Hotels, Riviera Maya is an awesome experience for kids and adults alike, particular the latter who grew up obsessed with slime and have spent decades lusting after a Good Burger. Your time has come.

Disclaimer: Our stay at this resort was comp'd, but we were under no obligation to review.