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    40 Gifts For Anyone Who'd Rather Reread "Harry Potter" Than Hang Out With You

    They'll definitely ~slytherin~ to your shopping cart.

    1. A ribbed knit beanie to keep you nice and warm during midnight trips to the The Forbidden Forest.

    2. Ankle socks for a good cause. All proceeds go toward SPEW: Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare

    3. A door cling better than the whole lock-and-key ordeal. She'll refuse to let anyone enter your room without a password.

    4. A heat-changing mug left behind by Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs. Like Google Maps, but for people.

    5. Or a heat-changing mug you won't even need to yell "Expecto Patronum" at. Your Patronus will just appear. Phew.

    6. A Felix Felicis brooch for anyone who needs a bit of luck before taking their O.W.L. exams. We can't all be Hermione.

    7. A faux leather clutch with compartments to hold all the essentials: your Hogwarts student ID, Sickles, Galleons, etc.

    8. A 16-piece dining set used in the Great Hall. Treacle tarts will magically appear on this dinnerware.

    9. A magical cookbook that'll have you sipping on gin and [pumpkin] juice in no time.

    10. Subject notebooks to help differentiate between your notes. Divination and Magical Creatures, for example.

    11. A Harry Potter-inspired Clue game with one objective: find the student who mysteriously disappeared from Hogwarts.

    12. A miniature cake to celebrate your 11th birthday. This is available as an ornament, magnet, or keyring.

    13. An insult handbook you'll whip out every time Voldemort decides to passive-aggressively call you the "boy who lived."

    14. A laptop sticker with a very important message. A really, truly, very important message.

    15. A checkers set favored by the goblins working at Gringotts. They hide this in vault 713 so that no one can steal it.

    16. An ultrasoft pillow cover you can't really sleep on. It'll immediately transport you to the Hogwarts Express.

    17. A bangle bracelet composed of The Elder Wand, The Resurrection Stone, and The Cloak of Invisibility.

    18. Chocolate frog molds for when you're too busy for a Honeydukes run. Hey, it happens.

    19. A coloring book filled with all sorts of magical things. Quidditch posters! Hogwarts! The Forbidden Forest!

    20. A golden snitch clock that's actually pretty annoying. It always flies away before I get a chance to see the time.

    21. A spinner suitcase depicting the most beautiful architecture known to the wizarding world. I'm tearing up just looking at it.

    22. A sticker decal representative of the only song I want to sing at karaoke night, okay?

    23. Spectrespecs you'll get for free with the current issue of The Quibbler. These bad boys will let you see wrackspurts.

    24. A butterbeer candle to make your room smell like The Three Broomsticks. Hogsmeade outings are the best, aren't they?

    25. A lightning bolt necklace that screams "WHY YES, I AM THE BOY WHO LIVED." You should be damn proud.

    26. An infinity scarf to keep you warm while watching the Inter-House Quidditch Cup. POINTS TO YOU FOR STAYING WARM.

    27. ...or an infinity scarf featuring The Marauder's Map. Disclaimer: this accessory is always up to no good.

    28. A bookmark collection you should probably destroy. You know, with the rise of he-who-must-not-be-named and all.

    29. A Hedwig statue willing to fetch your mail in the morning. What a saint, honestly.

    30. Jewelry hooks that are actually pretty frustrating. They tend to fly away before you can hang anything on them. Ugh.

    31. Cozy pajama pants perfect for Freeform Harry Potter weekends. Or for just re-reading the entire series.

    32. An art print featuring one of the many wise things said by Albus Dumbledore AKA the greatest wizard who ever lived.

    33. Wall banners to show off your house pride. For example, I'm a #Gryffindorforlife according to Pottermore.

    34. A Monster Book of Monsters plush pillow that's surprisingly calm. But pet it with caution, just in case.

    35. A book set complete with Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, Quidditch Through the Ages, and Tales of Beedle the Bard.

    36. A laundry sign on which you could hang all your mismatched socks. Do you know how many house elves you could free?

    37. Playing cards featuring gorgeous HP-inspired illustrations: the Sorting Hat, Hedwig, and Scabbers, for example.

    38. A comfy t-shirt for anyone who thinks that Luna Lovegood should get her own damn series.

    39. The complete 8-film collection on DVD so you could see the splendor that is Hogwarts whenever you damn well please.

    40. Or a boxed set of all seven books in the series. Swoon. Sigh. Heart eyes. Necessary. Amazing.

    My savings account right now:

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