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1.A Milani primer capable of keeping you shadow and liner in tact all 👏 day 👏 long 👏. That's right, folks! No creasing, smudging, fallout, or crying under the watch of this vegan and cruelty-free must-have.
2.A geometric tray with four interchangeable and stackable pieces that look like they were sourced from a modern art museum. Plus, these gorgeous pieces of art (ART, I tell ya) are perfect for everything from jewelry storage to breakfast in bed.
3.A vegan Acure brightening scrub made with argan extract and chlorella gentle enough to exfoliate acne-prone skin without causing further inflammation or redness. It'll also be an absolute 🌟 superstar 🌟 at fading scars and brightening your skin.
4.A tiny knife sharpener because that knife of yours can barely slice through bread, let alone a steak. This features two sharpening options (coarse and fine), and is designed with a non-slip base to ensure that it stays put whilst in use.
5.Soapstone stones to keep your whiskey on the rocks ice cold without any water dilution, which traditionally happens when one dumps ice cubes into their glass.
6.A Gumby dog toy guaranteed to make your four-legged best friend a very happy boy. Reviewers swear that their pets loves this chew toy an immeasurable amount!
7.A coconut sugar Handmade Heroes lip scrub to prep your pout for bold lipstick. This will give your smooth, moisturized lips free of any flakes from extreme dryness.
8.A grooming glove you can pet your pup or cat while also helping them get rid of the excess fur that would otherwise shed and be laid to rest all over your apartment. This glove even stimulates skin oils, promotes a softer and shinier coat, and can be thrown into the wash when it needs a deep clean itself.
9.A Lily England rose gold hair brush cleverly designed with an ergonomic handle (READ: no more tired wrists) and gentle flexible bristles that glide through any hair type whether wet or dry, ridding your mane of knots with no painful tugging necessary.
10.Bottle Bright cleaning tablets to quickly remove all that funky, gross, probably-starting-to-smell build-up in your favorite water bottle. These are biodegradable, chlorine-free, and require absolutely NO effort or scrubbing, but will make your water bottle look as if you've just brought it home from the store.
11.A silicone AirPods case for anyone who loves the holidays, if by "the holidays" you mean Halloween. These pumpkin and glow-in-the-dark designs will have you feeling like it's spooky season all year round.
12.A flight flap that is deceivingly strong despite the fact that it's as thin as a piece of paper. For the frequent flier, this easily molds into the seat in front of you or can remain upright on the tray table, holding everything from your Kindle to your iPhone perfectly in place.
13.A silicone mold to infuse your ice (or chocolate!) game with some much-needed magic. Dining in The Great Hall? Eh, your own kitchen is probably better now.
14.A passport case complete with card, boarding pass, and pen slots for anyone who loves to travel and has an Instagram account that is the envy of their friend group...but is also extremely disorganized. Stop aimlessly throwing important documents into your purse, friend. It won't end well.
15.A luxurious Dove body polish that enlists the help of crushed macadamia and rice milk for skin smoother than a baby's behind — and unlike most exfoliators, this formula won't leave your complexion feeling dried out the moment you step out of the shower.
16.A gluten- and cruelty-free Essence mascara with a clump-free, smudge-proof formula here to up your lash game like whoa. Just a few swipes of this will have everyone asking you the most coveted compliment-in-the-form-of-a-question: are those your real lashes?
17.Adhesive cable clips to help keep your home office clutter-free. These will prevent alllllll of your cords from tangling with one another, eventually becoming a spider web mess that you'll never be able to fix. Emphasis on the never.
18.A rosewater Mario Badescu facial spray with so many uses, it's hard to keep track of 'em all! This can set and refresh makeup, give foundation a dewy appearance, add refreshing hydration to dull-looking skin, and help keep breakouts at bay. And the scent? Freakin' divine.
19.A dishwasher-safe handheld scraper that will get all the burnt-up food crisps permanently off your very expensive cookware set. (It also is great at removing gum and stickers, because we love a product that boasts versatility.)
20.An overflow drain cover for the Lush bath bomb aficionado who has yet to own a luxurious tub. You'll get that clawfoot one day, but for now this cover will add extra inches of water to your soak.
21.Silicone brushes that are an absolute necessity for every skincare lover out there. This lets you slather on that thick mud mask without a) getting your hands covered in said mud mask, and b) prevents you from picking up (and wasting) excess product which means money saved.
22.A twist-to-dispense click pen that will wipe away built-up gunk (a result of lotion, soap, etc.) to reveal a brighter, more breathtaking surface to all of their jewelry.
23.A clay bear they can place in everything from brown sugar and baked goods (to keep soft and maintain moisture) OR to spices and salts (to keep everything dry and crispy).
24.A no-tie lacing system that is durable, adjustable, and conforms to your foot for a personalized feel. Raise your hand if your shoelace has ever come undone while walking from Point A to Point B, resulting in you falling flat on your face! With these laces, that'll no longer be a problem.
25.A handheld milk frother that makes it easy to whip up your very own, typically very expensive drink at home. This stainless steel whisk truly has so many darn uses: Let your mouth water at the thought of cappuccinos, lattes, hot chocolate, matcha, milk shakes, and more.
26.A NYX setting spray to finish off your complexion. Humidity, sweat, tears: it's all irrelevant when you've topped your foundation with this magic stuff, which works to mattify makeup and prevent it from turning into a greasy mess.
27.A wall-mounted bottle opener for the new apartment renter who barely remembers to buy toilet paper. A beer bottle opener = one of those obvious things that you'll never really think to buy, but absolutely need.
28.A C.O. Bigelow night balm because beauty sleep is not a drill. This eight-hour recovery shea butter formula simply needs to be applied before hitting the hay — and by the time you're pressing snooze on your iPhone alarm, your lips will be totally moisturized.
29.Playing cards featuring gorgeous HP-inspired illustrations: the Sorting Hat, Hedwig, and Scabbers. **takes deep breath** There's also Fawkes, the Nimbus 2000, a Hungarian horntail dragon, the Knight Bus, and so much more!
30.A before-you-go Poo-Pourri toilet spray formulated with a concentrated blend of essential oils that will neutralize... funky bathroom odors. Yes, the kind that you cause. This is the kind of ~white elephant~ gift to give yourself that will truly be more useful than you realize.
31.A scalp massager that will make you feel as if you're getting a professional shampoo from the ritziest salon in town. This is designed to stimulate your scalp and improve circulation, which is said to lead to speedier hair growth. (This is especially great to know if you got a two-inch trim last year and SURPRISE it's only grown one centimeter since.)
32.A Hair Dance powder dry shampoo especially great at vacuuming up grease and adding body sans any leftover chalky white residue. Pro tip: Add some into your roots before bed, wake up with a completely refreshed scalp that looks like it was shampooed five minutes ago (...as opposed to five days ago).
33.A matte Maybelline SuperStay liquid lipstick you can apply right before boarding an international flight — and it will still look great when you wake up on another continent. This magic stuff has a staying power of up to 16 hours, which means it must be the byproduct of some sort of sorcery. I know.
34.A bottle of Mike's Hot Honey you'll never want to leave home without! This all-natural honey, chili pepper, and vinegar mixture adds the perfect touch of spicy and sweet to any meal. Thought pizza was already perfect? Add some of this on a slice and prepare for your taste buds to explode.
35.Hydrocolloid, tea tree, and calendula oil pimple patches you should slap on a zit to a) prevent picking, and b) speed up the ~draining~ process of said zit. Plus, these are transparent enough to wear while running errands without anyone in the world giving you a second glance.
36.A plant-derived BodyGlide anti-blister balm to prevent blisters (duh), as well as back-of-heel chafing that will inevitably turn into a painful, bloody mess sure to ruin both your shoes and your day.
37.Affresh dishwasher cleaning tablets because HOW can you get clean, glistening dishes if the dishwasher itself is *gag* covered in grime? Answer: You can't. These babies are here to help.
38.A non-slip Kiss silicone mat with heat resistance of up to 480°F to house your hair tools whilst still burning hot. This has especially descended from the heavens for people who spend their day worried about whether or not they turned off the flat iron before heading out — even if you didn't, this nifty hunk of silicone will prevent any disasters.
39.A toothpaste holder complete with a toothpaste squeezer to make sure you get every last minty drop of cleanliness trapped in that damn tube. (One reviewer even describes this as ingenious and TBH, they are not wrong.)
40.An O'Keeffe's cream to give your dry, callused piggies an intense dose of moisture. I get it: Boots season is here, the need for a pedicure is gone, but this is the perfect way to give your feet some much-needed TLC.
41.A formaldehyde-free Zoya polish designed with a wider brush, meaning you can disperse more polish onto your nail with just 👏 one 👏 stroke 👏. The brush also fans out a teeny bit, allowing for application onto the pesky corners of their nail.
42.Miracle-Gro food spikes you'll appreciate if you love plants, but a) weren't blessed with the advantage of a green thumb, and b) laziness is one of your defining features. These slowly release micronutrients into soil for up to two months, thus allowing indoor plants to thrive.
43.An adjustable duster brush great for air conditioners, fans, and window blinds — because YES, those need to be cleaned on occasion (the amount of dust that can accumulate there is *cough* wild).
44.A cruelty-free EcoTools set packed with five brushes you'll use on the daily: an angled foundation brush, a concealer brush, an eyeshadow brush, an angled liner brush, and a blush brush. All for less than $10? HALLE- and I cannot stress this enough-LUJAH.
45.A four-sided cleaning brush so you can give your favorite suede booties some serious TLC (and make them look brand spankin' new). This magical tool allows scuff marks and salt stains to all but vanish into thin air.
My face after realizing that I now have 19 things in my Amazon shopping cart: