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1. A pendant necklace available in all 50 states. So hypothetically, if Dorothy was your most current flame, you'd want to pick up the Kansas option.
2. A ruffled one-shoulder dress featuring a thigh-high slit for legs that feel like playing a subtle game of peek-a-boo. This is perfectly form-fitting without feeling too "I'm uncomfortable and my boss is here" revealing.
3. A floral pullover sweater for folks who are ready to break the ground. Miranda Priestly, care to comment?
4. Classic ballerina flats that inspire their wearers to randomly burst out into "Swan Lake" choreography.
5. A choker necklace so inexpensive, you'll be buying it for every nice person on your list. HECK! It's affordable enough to purchase for all of the naughty people on your list, as well.
6. A gold hardware backpack to make your traffic-ridden, the-NYC-subway-system-sucks commute seem at least a ~smidge~ more chic.
7. High-waisted leggings that are comparable to products from pricier brands, but are significantly more affordable. Praise be.
8. An off-the-shoulder bodycon dress with the words "birthday party club attire" written all over it. In invisible ink. Nicholas Cage, where art thou?
9. Leather sneakers guaranteed to become your go-to shoe of choice. Pair these babies with jeans, leggings, skirt, dresses, CULOTTES — they'll go with absolutely anything.
10. A pearl-studded sweater perfect for mornings when you've rolled out of bed super late, looking like a mess, and SURPRISE! You need to be at work in ten minutes.
11. A locket necklace that lets you diffuse essential oils wherever you may go. This locket contains felt pads — just add a drop of lavender and you'll be feeling calm, cool, and collected all day long.
12. A cowl neck slip dress you'll probably want to keep for yourself. 'Tis the season of giving, so why not give to yourself? Right? RIGHT!?
13. A minimalist card wallet for the dad who has had the same wallet for the past three decades and refuses to get a new one... even though it's falling apart.
14. A clothing subscription box for the pickiest pint-sized dresser in your life. Just take a ~style~ quiz to determine the kind of outfit your kiddo would love and an entire outfit will be sent to your doorstep, hassle-free. And yes, shoes are included!
15. A 14k gold-dipped necklace you'll want to give the bada$$ lady in your life. It even comes with a gorgeous gift box and keepsake card that anyone would treasure from now until pigs learned how to fly!
16. A cowl neck sweater complete with an asymmetrical hem and POCKETS, people. If this isn't already on your Christmas wish list, then there is no hope for you.
17. A sequin top because NYE is fast approaching and this is the year that we, the people, will actually be satisfied with our ~ringing in 2019~ outfits.
18. Cat eye sunglasses you'll want to throw on when you've just left the house wearing a wrinkled tee and probably dirty leggings. Will these pull together your look and make it seem grunge chic? Absolutely.
19. A drape neck blazer that is the kind of gift that will keep on giving — like, we're talking for forever. This classic piece can be worn with everything (EVERYTHING!) and is a must-have for every wardrobe.
20. A vibrant crossbody bag to infuse the perfect pop of lipstick red into your outfit. (If you have a legitimate fear of bright colors, no worries — this is available in 20 other colors. Yes, including black.)
21. A v-neck wrap dress because is there anything better than receiving a gorgeous, versatile, super classy little black dress? I think the heck NOT, folks.
22. Leather pumps with stud detailing that is the equivalent of a motorcycle jacket, but for your feet. This is the perfect way for your ~le toes~ to feel badass.
23. A chunky sweater with a crisscross design that is *gasp* reversible, meaning you can wear the cutouts on either your back or your front.
24. A v-neck maxi dress available in a wide array of patterns and colors, meaning you can find one that's perfect for just about every season and every occasion.
25. A locket necklace to keep pictures of your loved ones (*cough* your pets *cough*) close to your heart at all times.
26. A sheer lace blouse capable of inspiring you to change careers faster than you can say "fashion blogger." Now come up with an Instagram handle, pal, because it's time to start racking up those followers.
27. Sterling silver cubic zirconia studs that look like a trillion bucks, but thankfully don't cost that much. Pretty rude of the universe to not have let me win the lotto yet...
28. A sleek credit card holder that strongly prefers Starbucks to Dunkin. In other words, this thing is FANCY.
29. A knee-length cocktail dress designed with jacquard lace and mesh detailing so gorgeous, some excessive swooning will definitely take place throughout the night.
30. A cropped sweatshirt that looks like it just stepped off the set of a very cool music video. Hellllllloooo, colorblock that feels synonymous with retro MTV.
31. A cowlneck tunic with over 3,000 (!!!) positive reviews. I'm not saying your life will be incomplete without it per se, but..
32. A criss cross ring for anyone you need to ~cross~ off your shopping list last minute. Prime shipping = this gorgeous little thing will be at your door within two days.
33. An oversized sweatshirt designed exclusively for cotton headed ninny muggins. Or, you know, for anyone who has watched Elf an unhealthy amount of times.
34. A crushed velvet mini dress that looks super luxe. This pretty little thing is best accessorized with a glass (or several glasses) of champagne and a killer pop playlist on Spotify.
35. A knit sweater dress to give your curves a nice, warm bear hug. Plus, the material is super soft and will feel like happiness against your skin.
36. Lace-up sneakers you'll want to scoop up now before they ~slither~ away. Statement prints + neutral colors = my kind of trendy.
37. A peasant top made from a super cozy jersey material you'll basically want to hibernate in all winter. Move over, bears — there's a new professional sleeper in town.
38. A satin sleep shirt perfect for lounging around in luxury all day. Fancy minxes all over the world, this one is for you.
39. Triangle drop earrings that can make even ripped jeans and a band tee look like a sophisticated, put together, intentionally grungy look.
40. Over-the-knee socks you can pair with a flare skirts and some ~ugly but not ugly at all~ chunky combat boots for a look that is undeniably Lara Jean. Peter Kavinsky, where art thou?
41. A mesh- and fringe-covered top worn by the likes of celebrities themselves because DAMN, is this thing trendy or what?!
42. A turtleneck sweatshirt best accessorized with a hot cup of caffeine, a page-turning thriller, and a day spent doing absolutely nothing else.
43. Ankle booties known for being very ~go with the flow~. You can wear them with literally anything and they won't mind.
44. A velvet tank and shorts pajama set for anyone looking to lounge in luxury. SURPRISE! Your weekend-long Netflix binge can now be considered a fancy occasion.
45. A trifold wallet large enough to house all your cards and cash, including gift cards that have a balance of $1.98 but for some reason you can't bear to throw 'em out.
A visual representation of me, deciding to keep that marble watch for myself rather than gifting it to my sister:
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