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1. A stemless wine glass because your significant other wanted a Frenchie this year, but times are tough and those are expensive. I hope this will perhaps hold your S/O over until you can have the real, barking thing.
2. A wine bottle vacuum pumper that removers air from your ~vino~ to preserve freshness for up to a week. Not that a bottle of wine would last a week in your house, but...
3. A personal library kit for the friend who always lends their beloved books. So kind, so generous, but they never get those books back.
4. A mermaid tail blanket to transform any abode into a paradise under the sea. Listen to me, the human world is a mess. Let us all pretend to be Ariel, am I right?
5. A pop-up card featuring The Beatles in their iconic strut down Abbey Road. This gorgeous keepsake is sure to win "best gift of the year" at your office Secret Santa exchange.
6. A passport case complete with card, boarding pass, and pen slots! This is ideal for the friend who loves to travel, but is also laughably unorganized. (In other words, me.)
7. A hair brush suitable for wet *OR* dry hair. You say goodbye to painful and stubborn tangles, and I say hello to gifting you something that is actually useful. And gorgeous, to boot!
8. A stone coaster set that is so gorgeous, who knows! Maybe your guests will actually start setting their drinks on them in lieu of setting them on your (expensive) coffee table!
9. A digital display watch anyone will want to wear from now until forever. It'll never go out of style! I guess you can say it's timeless...
10. An organic, loose leaf tea sampler box you'll want to gift your personal Kermit. These single serve packets include flavors such as blood orange, chocolate rose, black cherry, and peach brûlée.
11. Sterling silver cubic zirconia studs that look like a trillion bucks, but thankfully don't cost that much. Pretty rude of the universe to not have let me win the lotto yet...
12. A sheet mask set with 10 individually-wrapped masks AKA you can technically use this as a gift for 10 different people. I'll buy you all an island one day, but for now...
13. A magnifying mirror that folds into a travel-friendly compact OR can be adjusted to stand upright. Plus, this is designed with LED lights to ensure bad lighting doesn't get in the way of your killing the makeup game.
14. A mini power bank with over 16,000 (!!!!!) positive reviews on Amazon. Can you imagine the ego on this thing? It's probably huge.
15. A ceramic trinket dish for the bride-to-be (or recently married) pal in your friend group. Yes to the dress? More like yes to this super sentimental gift!
16. An adjustable opal ring that will make them say, "OH NO! You shouldn't have spent so much!" Little will they know that you, in fact, did not spend much at all.
17. A checklist notepad so they can list all 708 things that need to be done today, of which only three will actually be completed. But hey! At least they were all written down!
18. A science kit complete with gross activities to keep the kiddos (and rent-paying youths who still feel like kiddos) busy during their long winter break. Creating fake snot? SIGN ME UP.
19. A cable knit beanie lined with ultra soft fleece. Your noggin (or the noggin of whoever you're giving this to...) will remain warm when the temperature drops below freezing. Which, ugh.
20. A satin sleep shirt you'll want to luxuriously lounge in all day long. You fancy minx, you!
21. A cruelty-free bath melt formulated with murumuru butter, almond oil, and ginger oil that will moisturize your skin + leave your bath looking like a work of colorful art.
22. Legendary Ladies, a gorgeously illustrated book depicting 50 leading (and mythical) ladies, ranging from the Greek goddess Aphrodite to the Chinese deity Mazu.
23. Soapstone stones that will keep that whiskey on the rocks ice cold without any water dilution, which traditionally happens when you dump ice cubes into your glass.
24. A criss cross ring for anyone you need to ~cross~ off your shopping list last minute. Prime shipping = this gorgeous little thing will be at your door within two days.
25. A vintage edition of Candy Land, the sugar-fueled board game that was both the joy and bane of my childhood. Losing this game to a younger sibling? Devastating.
26. An adjustable cookbook stand for hands-free reading, so you can focus on (not completely screwing up) that fancy pasta dish you're trying to whip up. Go you for even trying!
27. Facial sprays with so so many uses, it's hard to keep track of 'em all. They can set and refresh your makeup, give foundation a dewy appearance, add refreshing hydration to dull-looking skin, and help keep breakouts at bay.
28. Bertie Bott’s beans available in a wide array of delicious, not-at-all-disgusting flavors. Banana! Blueberry! Black Pepper! Booger!
29. A pout-perfecting duo including a lip scrub and a non-sticky lip gloss formulated with coconut oil, volcanic ash, and fine brown sugar. Now pass me that mistletoe, eh?
30. A three-year journal packed with questions to be filled out by a couple, together. These prompts ask you to reflect on your fondest memories — and daily. Which is darn hard to do given the hustle and bustle that is life!
31. A candle set with travel-sized tins you can personalize to anyones liking. Does your BFF love the scent of lavender, lilac, and gardenia? Then gift them exactly that!
32. A USB night light any recipient is sure to seriously love. Dare I say they will love it to the moon (this is where you slap your knee) and back.
33. A vegan body scrub made from coffee beans to wave GOODBYE to dry, flaky skin. This pack of goodness also contains macadamia oil, almond oil, and cacao extract to leave you feeling soft, smooth, and moisturized.
34. A heat-changing mug currently employed as a magician. It can make all of Henry VIII's wives... disappear.
35. Crew socks because YES, grown adults want to receive socks — preferably ones that are super warm and super cozy. Do you have any idea how much we, the job-having and apartment-renting youth, want socks?
36. Metallic glitter (for both face and eyes!) because who doesn't want a little sparkle in their life? Plus, NYE is fast approaching and I firmly believe that 2019 needs to begin with a fun beauty look.
37. A butter spreader that will seem like a gag gift for the butter lover in your life, but this thing is actually super useful! It holds half of a quarter pound sick of butter + has rounded edges...
38. A Kindle Paperwhite case to both protect your E-reader and beautify it a bit. And whoever you give this to? I can guarantee that they'll be hit with a ~wave~ of emotion.
39. A long-lasting lip balm and skin salve you'll be tempted to keep for yourself. This little tube provides a RIDICULOUS amount of hydration in six delicious scents — and your winter-troubled skin will be so thankful for it.
40. Crew socks currently having a special promotion! All proceeds will be donated to S.P.E.W. (Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare).
41. A hot cocoa kit complete with marshmallows, peppermint chocolate spoons, and hot cocoa mix. Now cancel my plans, assistant. I'm spending the rest of the evening drinking this delicious concoction.
42. A magical cookbook that'll have you sipping on gin and [pumpkin] juice in no time. Hate pumpkin juice? FINE! This also contains recipes for treacle tarts, rock cakes, kippers, and more.
43. A limited-edition eyeshadow palette containing gorgeous rose gold hues ranging from shimmery to matte. And the packaging? Out of this world.
44. A notecard set featuring ten revolutionary women that provide an endless source of inspiration. And the illustrations? Breathtaking.
45. A wristwatch that looks like it costs a million bucks, but thankfully it costs less than $20 because does it LOOK like I've won the lottery yet, Aunt Karen?
46. A ~fancy~ skincare set to give the gift of *chef kisses fingers* complexion. This hypoallergenic, complexion-perfecting trio includes an algae and hyaluronic moisturizer, as well as an eye cream and face oil packed with vitamin c and fatty acids.
47. Stemless wine glasses capable of surviving an American Horror Story-style apocalypse. These BPA-free babies are seriously shatterproof.
48. A stainless steel water bottle available in a bunch of gorgeous prints and colors. How will you choose ~just~ one to gift? I have no idea.
49. A holiday card you'll want to give your office Secret Santa, who you have spoken to *maybe* twice in your life. Here's hoping they have a good sense of humor, am I right?
50. A luxurious French artisanal soap available in 41 different scents — just imagine everything from lavender and lemongrass to rosemary mint and coconut.
51. A gift box packed with gorgeous crystal earrings worthy of their own museum exhibit. Now however will I be able to give these away in lieu of keeping them for myself...
52. A dainty friendship necklace encrypted with a super secret, super special message in Morse code. (SURPRISE! I'm a genius and have figured it out! The necklace says BFF.)
My conscience says that I cannot keep these gifts for myself, but my heart? Not feeling very ethical.
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