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    34 Thoughts Everyone Has While Living In Brighton

    No matter where you want to go, it's up a hill.

    1. "I better set my alarm to make sure I can get a table somewhere for a full English on Sunday. 6am should do it."

    2. "Wow, that person looks really cool."

    3. "Wow, that person looks like a right bellend."

    4. "I go to work and I go up a hill. I go home and I go up a hill. How is this even possible?!"

    5. "The council really should consider installing cable cars up Southover Street."

    6. "Hmmm, what takeaway shall I have? Not Greek again, had that last week. Fed up of Japanese, Mexican ,and Thai. I wish Brighton had some options."

    7. "I fancy making a curry, thank God for Taj and Infinity."

    8. "I could never eat meat again and still not go hungry in Brighton."

    9. "My parents are visiting this weekend, how can I impress them? I'll take them to Chilli Pickle, that'll do the job."

    10. "My student mates are visiting this weekend, how can I impress them? I'll take them to Pompoko, that'll do the job."

    11. "Right, so Steve's coming to stay this weekend, Kate wants to come and stay, Mike, Laura and Tom too, so that means my next free weekend is in… 2018."

    12. "A stag party of blokes dressed as Smurfs? How original."

    13. "Why is there a crowd of people gathered on the promenade over there? It's only a ukulele-playing, fire-breathing bloke riding a unicorn. Chuh, tourists."

    14. "I wonder if there'll be a time that I'll walk through the Level and not be smacked in the face by someone doing poi?"

    15. "It's almost like someone just raided a charity shop, stuck their finds in this vintage shop and put a higher price tag on them…"

    16. "Yes I know the shops in The Lanes are cute and pretty but MOVE LADY, some of us only have an hour lunch break!"

    17. "Ahhh... there's nothing like enjoying your lunch on the beach. If only that seagull wasn't bothering me.

    18. "OMG, it's only November and I didn't know it was possible to feel cold like this. Yep, that's my circulation stopping right there."

    19. "Does Chris Eubank really live in Myhotel?"

    20. "How many 'deans' are there here? Withdean, Woodingdean, Rottingdean, Coldean, Saltdean, Ovingdean, Varndean… WTAF?"

    21. "A class at the Brighton Buddhist Centre is just what I need. I am so good at this concentrating on breathing stuff. So Zen. I AM ZEN."

    22. "I've ordered all my Christmas presents online, now to pick them up from the sorting office – only it looks like the queue starts at the end of the pier…"

    23. "Yay, it's my birthday! I can't wait to open all my cards. Now to wait 'till the post arrives at 2pm."

    24. "Ok, so a fiver will get me a pint and... an orange squash. What a wild Tuesday night this'll turn out to be.

    25. "There's a new pub quiz at the Hope & Ruin, awesome! I'll just click on 'attend' and… oh great, sold out instantly."

    26. "Do I want it toasted Ms Bagelman? Damn straight I do!"

    27. "If I just lie down on the beach and close my eyes I could almost, almost be abroad…"

    28. "I wonder if having sex on the beach would spice things up a bit…? Nah, pebbles could make things VERY uncomfortable."

    29. "Hmm, where can I go without risking bumping into my ex? Absolutely everyone knows him round here… my front room it is then."

    30. "My favourite coffee shop has to be Coffee at 33. No, Redwood. No actually, Smallbatch. I mean Pelicano. No, argggghhhhhh!"

    31. "My rent has just gone out of my account and I still have three days until pay day. I can make a meal out of baked beans and rice, can't I?"

    32. "Is someone murdering a child? Strangling a cat? Oh no, that's just the winged-white creatures from hell on my roof."

    33. "Just going to buy a copy of the local newspaper. I wonder what's on the front page today? Has a rogue ferret delayed the number 47 bus? Or perhaps Pete from Big Brother has bought a possessed tablecloth?"

    34. "What a gorgeous summer evening. To the beach!"