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21 Uniquely Brighton Things The World Is Missing Out On

Mainly dog cafes and genital celebrations.

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1. Graffiti that’s genuinely awesome.

Flickr: adactio / Creative Commons

2. And graffiti that’s terrible.

Who wouldn’t want a creepy 15 foot Ronald McDonald throwing up on their house?
Twitter: @BrightonNewsJo

Who wouldn’t want a creepy 15 foot Ronald McDonald throwing up on their house?

3. The threat of certain death by seagull at any given moment.

Or at least the threat of losing your tofu and quinoa salad to a bitter beak.
imgur.com

Or at least the threat of losing your tofu and quinoa salad to a bitter beak.

4. Fatboy Slim gigs on the beach.

Just a typical Tuesday night with Norman Cook, Simon Pegg, and Nick Frost all getting rat-arsed under one roof.
imgur.com

Just a typical Tuesday night with Norman Cook, Simon Pegg, and Nick Frost all getting rat-arsed under one roof.

5. And Nick Cave helping a fire-juggling unicyclist.

If ever a tweet needed a #brighton hashtag, this is it.
Twitter: @BrightonNewsJo / BuzzFeed

If ever a tweet needed a #brighton hashtag, this is it.

6. A dog cafe that sells chicken-flavoured ice cream.

I wonder if Hove’s Chubby Chops cafe accepts PayPup? (sorry)
imgur.com

I wonder if Hove’s Chubby Chops cafe accepts PayPup? (sorry)

7. This brilliant raving granddad.

Disco Pete, as he’s known to locals, is always guaranteed to liven up any August seafront busker’s performance.
Flickr: martin_thomas / Creative Commons

Disco Pete, as he’s known to locals, is always guaranteed to liven up any August seafront busker’s performance.

8. An annual naked bike ride.

You’ll see things your eyes can never unsee.
Flickr: ledgard

You’ll see things your eyes can never unsee.

9. A hotel with an actual rotating bed and mirrored-ceiling.

Instagram: @pelirocco

10. A festival entirely dedicated to sandcastles.

And not just any sandcastles. The sculptures are genuinely brilliant and never hit a bum note.
Flickr: neela / Via Creative Commons

And not just any sandcastles. The sculptures are genuinely brilliant and never hit a bum note.

11. A celebrity death board.

Instagram: @mashtunbrighton

Spend a quid guessing which celebrity will kick the bucket first.

12. The real* possibility of planning notice for a pork palace.

*May or may not be real.
imgur.com

*May or may not be real.

13. And talks of an actual zipwire on the seafront.

#Brighton big wheel to be replaced by zip wire? https://t.co/KGy1EdhrqC

Never shall we need to use our idiotic legs to travel again.

14. Penis decorations.

15. A night out for tattoo-clad hipsters.

Instagram: @pelirocco

Don’t worry, I’m sure your Winnie The Pooh tattoo circa 1991 will be just the ticket.

16. A masterful man with a van.

17. Traffic wardens who do everything by the book.

Hey, a double yellow is a double yellow.
Twitter: @LyraSpacey

Hey, a double yellow is a double yellow.

18. Friendly pet fosterers.

To be fair, it sounds like Enid was having the time of her life.
imgur.com

To be fair, it sounds like Enid was having the time of her life.

19. A walk amongst the living dead.

Sadly the zombie walk is no more – ironically due to health and safety issues.
Flickr: image_munky / Creative Commons

Sadly the zombie walk is no more – ironically due to health and safety issues.

20. Rather bizarre police call outs.

@C00pasaurus 2/2 Upon entry to the property they did indeed find Nicholas Cage. Luckily no one else who was hurt or in danger.

Life-sized celebrity cutouts, terrorising the world since the adventures of Kevin McCallister.

21. Brighton Pride.