The red carpet at the Met Gala is not supposed to be safe — and Beyoncé was evidently the first to get that memo. Showing up in a nude body stocking encrusted with some sort of leaf pattern attached to a blue-ish shag carpet, she was: Blue Ivy.
She looks liks she showed up at the wrong luncheon.
8. Lana Del Rey
I sort of resent her lazy attempts at sartorial eccentricity. Like, “Oh I’ll just wear this relatively plain sequined dress and throw a cheap black cape over it and everyone will think I’m WEIRD.” I’m not falling for it — weird comes from the inside.
9. Kate Bosworth
10. Rooney Mara
She could have also gone in my “exposed” category since, well, she’s wearing a lace window into her crotch, but I feel she’s more goth glam than “I invite you to look inside my dress” risqué, so I put her here.
11. Mary-Kate Olsen
I totally love this. She took every effort to look as perfectly crazy as possible.
13. Mary-Kate Olsen
All-white is one of the biggest trends of the spring/summer season. These ladies looked ready for a proper haunting — and an even more proper staining. Thank God no one really eats at these things.
14. Anna Wintour (with daughter Bee Shaffer)
Still not quite sure what the gold thing on her dress is. A fish? The Olympic torch?
17. Melania Trump
Ohhhh I guess she didn’t hear Lady Gaga exhausted the pointy shoulders thing about, oh, A WHOLE LIFETIME AGO.
18. Claire Danes
19. Amy Adams
20. Ashley Greene
After the ball — she got married!!!!
21. Rachel Zoe
This is actually one of my favorite looks of the night. It must have felt really nice on the skin to have been wearing a big tassel (though the same probably cannot be said for the abalone around her neck).
22. Summer Phoenix (with Casey Affleck)
23. Lily Collins
I feel like Forever 21 is selling some iteration of this.
24. Donna Karan
25. Jessica Stam
She looks upset and I can’t help but wonder if it has something to do with her feeling like she’s wearing a knight’s costume.
Metallic is a trend that just won’t die — and for these things, it’s especially good, because you want to make sure people still notice you when Beyoncé drags her giant train into your shot.
26. Karolina Kurkova
27. Karolina Kurkova (and Rachel Zoe)
28. Jessica Alba
29. Jessica Pare
Oh. This is ugly.
30. Carrie Mulligan
This is the fish I’ve always wanted.
31. Nina Dobrev
This was like Sex and the City 2 in dress form: you wanted it to be so great but it just wasn’t.
32. Nina Dobrev
33. Sofia Vergara
34. Cameron Diaz
I love that she kept it simple, but the look on her face — what could she possibly be thinking?
35. Kate Upton
Oh yeah — probably, “What the hell is Kate Upton doing here?”
36. Kate Upton
The same thing she always does, from the looks of it.
38. Anja Rubik
Do you think it has, like, a built-in jock strap for modesty’s sake? (What if there was a gust of wind?) Also, I know she’s a supermodel and all but, since when does a slashed pillow case freaking count as a dress?
40. Gwyneth Paltrow
What was it Kim Zolciak says in Don’t Be Tardy For the Wedding? Oh right: “I need some side-boob.”
41. Camilla Belle
I think this is the perfect glamorous outfit. It’s edgy, shiny, sexy, and not doesn’t make you think too hard.
42. Lea Michele
46. Renee Zellweger
Man, there was a lot of side-butt at this thing!
47. Katharine McPhee
48. Heidi Klum
49. Debra Messing
This looks like one of those Project Runway looks the designer didn’t have enough time to finish. This woman needs a new stylist!
Risk is always appreciated on the Met Gala red carpet more than any other red-carpet event. But there is risk that works and risk that just makes no damn sense.
50. Chloe Sevigny
Okay, so —WHAT?
51. Chloe Sevigny
You know those dance music festivals where they have craft tables, so you can make like necklaces out of washers and things? This looks like something she made at one of those stations.
53. Christina Ricci
54. Ivanka Trump
If Hugh Hefner got stuck in the body of a blond woman of her age, this is what his evening attire would look like.
56. Elizabeth Banks
I have no idea.
58. January Jones
You know, I don’t know why she and Versace stopped at the bright yellow with the tacky bustier thing going on — at this rate they may as well have put two openings at the bottom for her two legs and made this a jumpsuit, since it would be hard to make this any harder to pull off.
59. Kirsten Dunst
At first I hated this but then I looked at it five minutes later and thought it was quite nice. Someone has to play headmistress at this thing.
60. Coco Rocha
I could forgive this if it weren’t for the hair.
Ladies! Examples of when Occasion Tanning goes wrong.
61. Sandra Lee
62. Leighton Meester
THE FLOWER PATCH
Florals are always a fun way to welcome spring. These ladies wore them without being boring, for the most part.
63. Rashida Jones
64. Emma Stone
65. Sarah Jessica Parker
I know a lot of people are going to hate this, but it has that quirky fashion-y quality about it that only Carrie Bradshaw can pull off.
67. Chelsea Clinton
70. Tory Burch
This is cool because it’s like a big Hawaiian shirt made of tulle and other evening gown stuff.
71. Kristen Wiig
Also: best bracelet of the night.
74. Vera Wang and Wendi Deng
75. Nancy O’Dell
76. Ginnifer Goodwin
77. Emma Roberts
79. Julianne Hough
These ladies gave the words TRAINING DAY new heft.
80. Amy Poehler (with Will Arnet)
81. Renee Zellweger
82. Amber Heard
83. Diane Kruger
85. Dakota Fanning
86. Leslie Bibb
THE PERFECTLY FINE BUT NOT SPECTACULAR
87. Lena Dunham
I love her pink shoes. Honestly, this is the perfect look for her. No one expects her to show up in that dress Beyoncé wore.
88. Caroline Trentini (with Olivier Theyskens)
She’s a super-famous model so why is she dressing like a Golden Girl? As in, not the cool way one might dress like a Golden Girl today?
89. Allison Williams
90. Michelle Dockery
91. Hillary Swank and Michael Kors
92. Doutzen Kroes
94. Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake
95. Poppy Montgomery
96. Scarlett Johansson
This is trying quite hard to be so awesome, but… meh.
97. Vera Wang and Paula Patton
The worst-dressed are always some of the best people — and that is always painful.
98. Dianna Agron
This just looks cheap and ill-fitting to me. Like she dragged it out of her suitcase and threw it on minutes before the ball. If I knew I might get photographed on the carpet between Gisele and Rihanna, I’d probably put more thought into it than that.
99. Leslie Mann
100. Dee Occlepo and Tommy Hilfiger
101. Jessica Chastain
So much talent — so little ironing!
103. Jamie King
105. Amber Valetta
107. Daren Criss
108. Bruno Mars
109. Ed Westwick
110. Jeff Bezos (Amazon CEO, with wife Mackenzie Bezos)
111. Tim Tebow
112. The Jonas Brothers
115. Tom Ford
116. Mark Ruffalo (with Sunrise Coigney)
117. James Franco (with Marina Abramovic)
AND THE MOST AWESOME LADY OF THE NIGHT!
118. Brooke Shields
I don’t know why she’s on a cane, but damn, that is fortitude.