Something is sure to scare you at fashion week. If it hasn't been the people gallivanting in front of the street style paparazzi in downright torturous (and tortured) outfits, the Blonds' fall 2013 show might do the trick!
The Blonds, in case you are in the unfortunate position of being unfamiliar with the design team, make intensely sparkly and dangerous-looking bustiers for the likes of Katy Perry, Rihanna and Lady Gaga. (Less significant clients evidently include Carmen Electra, who sat in the front row of the Tuesday show for reasons that are unclear. Also, why was she at the Golden Globes and SAG awards? At least she's keeping busy — stroking one's hair extensions can only count as a hobby for so long.)
At the Blonds, the front row is guaranteed to come with drag queens, bare thighs, and a leotard or two that just doesn't quite fit. "I just saw that guy's balls multiple times," my seat mate said at one point, emphasizing the trouble with leather leotards. We were also treated to someone in horns, a man wearing a giant narcissistic gold tinsel coat who wouldn't sit down or stop shaking his shoulders because he was so enjoying people taking his picture. And truly, we all enjoyed watching him out-ham Carmen.
But even the proud freaks and misfits in the crowd couldn't out-freak the runway show itself, which opened with Birds-inspired looks.
It then moved into quite comfortable-looking, The Shining-inspired cocktail attire. There were also flirty day dresses with knives on them.
And things closed with a few dramatic slasher looks, in which "blood" was created with sequins on tight nude dresses. The finale involved Phillipe Blonde coming out at the end, flinging off a black coat to reveal quite possibly the sparkliest, most amazing red and black body suit fashion week has ever seen.
In sum, no one was upset that they were at this show instead of home watching the State of the Union.