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Anja Rubik's Bare Hip IS Lying To Us

With a bit of research, I think I've determined how exactly her insanely high slit at the Met Gala — and others like it — actually work.

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What do all these three ladies have in common? Legs that work overtime, yes, but also: hips that do lie. Infinity thighs ending in hips that jut out from evening gowns via insanely high slits. This is not a work of witchcraft, however — there is a real man behind those naked-yet-not-naked hips and his name is Anthony Vaccarello. He is a designer, and his signature thing are these evening gowns with seemingly impossible side slit engineering and asymmetrical openings. They're Tarzan's Jane costumes but... tailored — and priced at a few thousand dollars a pop.

I asked a red carpet celebrity stylist friend how Anja Rubik might have managed to wear that white slashed gown to the Met Gala without flashing anyone. I figured these things have to either have a built in pair of panties or some really magical styling tape. The stylist said, "I asked my friend who went to the Met [Gala] if she saw anything? And she said the dress was constructed with something inside it. So essentially: strategic design."

Vaccarello's clothes aren't for sale in many places in this country, but you can find a plentiful assortment at the Just One Eye boutique in L.A. Among their stock are two dresses with slits as high as Gwneyth Paltrow and model Anne V's in the above photos. The description of one such $3,950 dress sort of explains how these super-high slits manage not to reveal vagina:

This sensual piece features an adjustable halter strap at neck, black panel over one side at chest, deep V-neckline, cut-out at side and high-cut leg hole at one side with a gold buckle detail at top. With fabric wrapping around covered leg, exposed zip-fastening at back and partially concealed internal black elastic bands for structure and security.

So it sounds like these dresses actually have leg holes, the way shorts do. As shocking as they are, they're pretty fun to look at, so you keep on cutting things up and defying clothing logic, Anthony Vaccarello. Show dresses what they can do! Though if you want to sell things to women who aren't built like models you might at least start playing with more mesh insets, or something.