First, the celebrities.
2. How’d she get tricked into this?
Is this the celebrity’s version of “what was I thinking when I was drinking last night?” Instead of like, “what ex-boyfriend did I text,” what crazy-looking red people did I pose for photos with?
3. Gail Simmons
I think she was there to plug tea that comes in a salad dressing bottle — an occasion that makes this outfit absolutely outstanding. (I’d have shown up in a tracksuit were this my duty.)
5. Star Jones
If My Little Pony were a dress and hat this is what it would look like.
7. Mary J. Blige
She looks far too reasonable to be here. Also, she is cool, so why is she here?
9. Christian Siriano
Remember this Project Runway winner? He evidently salvaged part of the Pan Am wardrobe for this occasion.
10. Kate Flannery
It’s the Kentucky Derby, not the Zoro Derby — wrong hat, Kate.
12. Ice T and Coco
They are perfect always. (Her adorable day dress is Juicy Couture, by the way.)
15. Miranda Lambert
I appreciate her sequined fascinator!
17. Erin Andrews
She looks like she’s going to a wedding, but I guess that’s kind of The Look at this thing.
18. Bonnie-Jill Laflin
A rogue purple boa masquerades as hair fungus.
19. Cyndi Lauper
I can’t say anything bad about Cyndi Lauper. Her tomato dress was a clever choice.
20. Ginnifer Goodwin
This is the kind of dress that would look fashionable at a fashion event but just looks really dorky at something like this.
21. A model wearing an outfit made of roses.
Apparently stringing some roses together and wearing a few strands at once qualifies as a top. How have slutty Halloween people not figured this out yet?
22. Dannielynn Birkhead
She looked disturbingly gorgeous/perfect for her young age.
23. First prospective boyfriend for Dannielynn Birkhead.
24. Second prospective boyfriend for Dannielynn Birkhead.
Preppy toddler (with a boutonniere).
And now, the fabulously large hats.
People who are getting drunk…
And the drunk people.
- The death toll has risen to 36 in the Oakland warehouse party fire. Officials say they are no where close to finding a cause for the fire.
- Donald Trump has picked retired neurosurgeon Ben Carson to be his secretary of housing and urban development.
- Jill Stein has filed a federal lawsuit in Pennsylvania for statewide recount of the 2016 election, after she withdrew a request in state court.
- A woman clapped back at her anti-gay neighbor using festive rainbow Christmas lights 🎄👏