1.The most important new photos from Cannes are of The Bling Ring cast.
2.And then they turned around for the requisite "you know I'm at Cannes because I'm dragging my big train up these red stairs" shot. And there was much rejoicing.
3.Except from Emma Watson, who either didn't shave her armpits or couldn't raise her arms under the constriction of those tenuous spaghetti straps.
5.Earlier in the day she looked similarly nonplussed in this pretty burgundy dress.
6.Eva Huang tried to dress down her daytime ballgown (...) with some ugly brown, orange, and yellow beads.
7.Sami Gayle is definitely setting herself up to be a fashion designer lust object.
8.You just know Marc Jacobs and Miuccia Prada are fighting over who will get her for their next campaign.
9.Elsewhere in daytime photo call land, we had Meng Li in pajamas.
10.And Tao Zhao in back ruffles.
11.Berenice Bejo borrowed a sailor costume from a cartoon Disney character.
12.Sonam Kapoo only wore embellished shoes so that her feet showed up. Otherwise people might have mistaken her dress for a hovercraft.
13.But who's that swanning into the frame? Threatening to uproot this the drama of Kapoo's creepily voluminous skirt?
14.Why, it's Fan Bing Bing! One of the best red carpet dressers of our time.
15.Especially Liya Kebede, who Fan Bing Bing encountered and promptly train bombed.
16.Amy Mullins wore what looked like a grandfather's tube sock – but sparkly.
17.And backless. Because with that body you owe it to the world not to cover up everywhere.
18.Delphine Wespiser and Laury Thilleman are French beauty pageant queens.
19.Animal control burst onto the scene to contain this tiger that creeped onto the carpet.
20.Ines de la Fressange looked just about perfect.
21.But nothing could compare to the impact of Russian television personality Elena Lenina's fascinator
22.You really have to take it in from multiple angles to get a sense of the thing.
23.Well actually, there is something that can compare to Elena Lenina's fascinator — and that's Elena Lenina's dress.
24.Sonia Rolland got attention with this pattern, which I'd call "deconstructed petrified wood."
25.Octavia Spencer went with something classically beautiful.
26.And then there was this person.
27.Zhang Ziyi looked fairly spectacular in this printed strapless gown.
28.Frieda Pinto's panty line-high slit failed to deliver the drama she was probably hoping for.
29.And to cleanse your eyes of all that red carpet tackiness, let's take a whiz through the Calvin Klein party!
30.Naomie Harris seized the opportunity to flaunt her under-rib.
31.Dasha Zhukova didn't look very happy.
32.Model-turned-photographer Hanneli Mustaparta looked smashing, as expected.
33.Rooney Mara dressed — oh yeeees, she did in fact get dressed.
34.Paz Vega was all, "Bring it, Ann Romney."
35.And now that Great Gatsby's horrible splendor has been unleashed onto the world Carey Mulligan is just going to try and give everyone's eyes a break for a little while and wear simple black dresses like this.