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34 New Rules For Men's Fashion

The spring men's collections just hit the runway in London. According to rules set out by these most innovative of clothing designers, all you dudes should stock up on cropped jean jackets and crocheted shorts.

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1. In terms of sweaters, nude harem scenes are the new snow scenes.

ANDREW COWIE / Getty Images

Assert your masculinity while wearing a purple cheetah by also wearing naked babes on your chest.

(By Sibling.)

3. Come up with a sharp nickname like "JET BOY" to wear on your back.

ANDREW COWIE / Getty Images

Give people something to remember you by, if your naked lady-print clothes and stylin' dad socks aren't enough already.

(By Sibling.)

6. Or, if your complexion doesn't lend itself to pink, try egg whites.

ANDREW COWIE / Getty Images

Turquoise trim turns an otherwise bland ensemble into something that really pops.

(By Sibling.)

13. Instead of sandblasted jeans, try a more flamboyant wash.

ANDREW COWIE / Getty Images

Bleached/shibori dyed/painted — anything that looks like you got it from Pinterest.

(By Oliver Spencer.)

19. Dress like you'd play cricket if it didn't involve being outside with dirt.

Joel Ryan / AP

You're way too pretty to be near soil in these whites.

(By Savile Row and St. Jame's designers.)

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