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Style

21 New Rules For Bathing Suits

In Miami, swimwear designers are displaying their latest creations — the things the masses will have the ability to buy and wear the next time beach season rolls around. Prep for that occasion with these simple guidelines.

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1. Accessorize your one-piece with a giant sea anemone replica.

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If you're feeling self-conscious about your thighs this sort of ornamentation will certainly keep people from thinking about or looking at those.

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7. Eff flip-flops — wear shoes that scare people.

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Rose by Vanessa Jean showed some truly insane and elaborate, well, I guess you'd call them pumps. For this pair she appears to have melted down all of Madonna's favorite accessories and mashed them into footwear.

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Frazer Harrison / Getty Images

Also ideal for keeping the focus on something other than the body parts you feel self-conscious about — that is, if you can wear these without feeling self-conscious about them.

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17. Style hair so that when you submerge in the water, you look like a buoy.

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This is either very dangerous since people might bump into you, or a clever safety tactic since people might just skirt around you.

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21. Wear floor-length chiffon vests as cover ups.

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Is there a more fun way to cover up without actually covering up? I think this spiffy see-through overthing makes average beach rompers and sarongs look about as unglamorous as Kevin Federline buying snacks at a gas station, but that's just me.

(Note: above comments do not reflect feelings on bikin or outfit overall.)