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20 Groundbreaking Maternity Style Rules From Kim Kardashian

This woman is writing her own pregnancy dress code — from peplum pants to leather leggings to the world's most painful-looking shoes, she's determined not to have a casual day, ever. Her resilience is amazing.

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1. Wear white pantsuits that make you look like you've been whipped to stiff peaks.

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If you're not Mary J. Blige and you're wearing a white pantsuit you have to be wary of looking like you're trying to be Mary J. Blige. With the excess fabric draping here, Kim avoids looking like a Mary knockoff WHILE distinguishing herself from her boyfriend's all-white (see below).

2. Don't be afraid to let your man shine white like a diamond.

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And wear all-black. It's not like people won't notice you, but it never hurts to act like you don't care if they don't by wearing clothes that make you fade into the surroundings, like an octopus on the sea bottom. No matter what, uncomfortable shoes are a must.

3. Channel the 2000s in Grecian-style, spaghetti strap wrap dresses.

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The important thing is to not remind people of eras prior to your inexplicable rise to mega fame, no matter how much everyone loves the '90s right now.


4. Wear fitted leather whenever possible.

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Nothing will quite prepare your growing fetus for the badass life it's expected to lead — and the black leather diapers it's expected to wear — like a mom who wears enough tight leather to cause people to wonder if it's fused with her skin.

7. Assert your MILF-ness by wearing see-through blouses in the middle of winter — in Canada.

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This is what Kim wore on January 4 in Calgary, just days after announcing her and Kanye's future spawn. Note how the trendy see-through blouse and gladiator stilettos separate her look from your average lawyer's daywear.


8. Hide your growing bump under the most elaborate trousers you can find.


Like peplum green leopard-print skinnies. Or just wrap an oversized scrunchie around your midsection in case the store runs out of these (...).

9. Wear plastic stiletto shoes with the most unforgiving pencil skirt you can find.


Nothing taxes a stylist's brain like a white outfit that's so tight you can't even fit a slip underneath. Well, aside from aforementioned peplum "pants," one presumes.

10. Indulge in a caftan every so often.


But make sure people know you're edgy by wearing chest cut-outs. Call up Rachel Zoe after the pictures come out and make sure you did the outfit right.


13. Indulge in loose, leather-trimmed pants at airports only.

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But your mundane, everyperson airport activities must also be done in the most uncomfortable, airport-unfriendly shoes.


15. Experiment with sideboob cut-outs.

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Of course you'll need to find an impeccable tailor that can build breast support into all your clothes so you won't have to worry about normal-person underwear, like bras.

16. Jazz up an otherwise bland outfit with statement stilettos.

Donna Ward/Getty Images

You know, the kind of puzzling shoes that show that you're taking your boyfriend's fashion hobby seriously. That means never looking like your name is all over a line of Sears clothing.

17. Dress for the weather, but only on certain parts of your body.

Marc Piasecki/FilmMagic

When going out in January in Paris like Kim here, wear fur on your wrists, but leave your feet exposed to the elements. And again: tight leather wherever possible, please.