back to top

19 Random Things That Happened At Fashion's "Oscars"

Michael Kors' head was Photoshopped onto Kate Moss' body, and MORE MAYHEM from one of fashion's most serious nights — the annual CFDA Awards.

Posted on

DVF was also wearing fishnets and clear heels, throwing major shade in the established norms of "age-appropriate" dressing (i.e., save your Eileen Fisher for the plane). And you know what? They were two of the best-dressed of the night, showing that women actually look better in their cutouts when they're not fashion-model age, which the media would never have you believe.


It was for the footage that introduced the winner of the International Award, Givenchy designer Riccardo Tisci, the very man responsible for turning Kim Kardashian into a couch at the Met Ball (which makes him either more or less deserving of this accolade, depending on where your sympathies lie). This video involved various celebs sitting in darkly colored thrones staring into the camera, issuing the most subtle of nods. So basically everyone inside the auditorium just got to see, like, five seconds of Kanye's face. Also appearing in the video: artist Marina Abramovic, model Adriana Lima, and some dude who wore a kilt and opened his legs enough for the camera to reveal he had black manties on underneath.

His date Julie Macklowe looked like she would lift up her skirt at any moment and unleash a dozen children sucking lollipops.


4. The Swarovski sculpture — a large disk that resembled a gong encrusted with crystals tilted downward to catch the light — got in everyone's way.

Because nothing reminds people drinking who's paying for all this like a huge suspended disk made of the sponsor's stuff.

In the video introducing the menswear nominees, three groups of male models were filmed singing the song while wearing clothes by Duckie Brown, Michael Bastian, and Thom Browne (who won). Let me tell you, nothing livens up a stale awards show like a bunch of male models wearing square Amish hats (Thom Browne), dresses (Thom Browne), and fur stoles (guess who?) doing a slightly out-of-pitch rendition of a song none of us were supposed to like as much as we actually do.


After the "Get Lucky" video played, Stevens sashayed onto the stage to major BOOS and mass uproar over the fact that he LEFT DOWNTON ABBEY. "Go back to Downton, traitor!" the fashion people cried, throwing little canisters of TicTacs and dental floss onto the stage in fury.* Then Stevens said something about how only one of the menswear nominees could "get lucky" tonight, pausing momentarily to acknowledge the badness of that joke, which was so bad it was actually hilarious.

*The part about the booing and throwing stuff isn't actually true, but it probably should have happened, because we are NOT OVER IT, Stevens. SMDH.


You could also call it a Texas Tux. Or: what everyone who wore black tie wished they were wearing.

It was just perfect since that's the kind of sinister shit that makes a really great Thom Browne show that leaves everyone feeling quite breathless afterward. "Oh, Louise, but did you SEE the 'merman with the knife in his back'? *Dying!*" Etc.


Winning the Swarovski award for emerging menswear designer with his partner Maxwell Osborne, he told the audience he and his wife always fight over how to dress their son for school the next day, but they had a bet that if he won the award he could dress the boy for the next year. AWW!

Kerry Washington presented the award for womenswear designer of the year, and part of the skit for that involved having models do her job (acting! LOLOL) while wearing clothes by the nominees, Marc Jacobs, Proenza Schouler (winner), and Alexander Wang. So we got to see Jessica Stam, Hilary Rhoda, and Liya Kebede deadpan and smirk their way The Big Lebowski, Pulp Fiction, and When Harry Met Sally. If you were tweeting, the appropriate hashtag would have been "#awkward."

11. When Linda Evangelista walked onto the stage — which was set like a big white room, making everyone on it look like they were merely toys in a dollhouse — someone in the audience couldn't resist shouting "WERK!"


You'd think that term would be mightily overused at an event stocked with fashion people, but it was actually the only time it made a strong showing all night. Chalk that up to impressive self-restraint, really.

But, he said to the crowd, DVF told him he could tell the audience that he wasn't allowed to say "mazel." Everyone was glad he couldn't say it, to be honest, because it's nice to actually feel like you got out of the house and did something other than waste four hours watching Bravo when you were all going to read an entire issue of The New Yorker when you got home and stuff.


Unclear what was said, but they sort of faced each other and fluttered their hands for a few seconds on their way into the awards show. I mean, Anna, GIVE OLIVIA POPE A VOGUE COVER ALREADY.

At fashion events, you never want to be seen eating something that's actually delicious — like nuts that have a thicker glaze than most cars.


Weinstein, who's married to the very talented and gorgeous Marchesa designer Georgina Chapman, asked me how long the awards show was before it started. I told him it was an hour and 20 minutes and he promptly called someone and said he wanted to go "watch the game" and come back at the end of the ceremony. You know, a lot of people probably just spend the ceremony drinking in the lobby anyway so I actually don't think this was bad form at all.

It was part of the requisite joke about how every fashion designer does collaborations now — hahaha. I know it's a tough crowd, but joking about that kind of thing at a fashion event at this point is like going up to someone at a bar and saying, "I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock."


Someone had to.

Sorry, but I'm not — it's still funny.

For beauty & style as you are.
a brand