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14 Things Ryan Lochte Can Do With His "Jeah" Trademark

On August 1 Olympic beefcake Ryan Lochte applied to trademark "jeah" — a word he may or may not have made up himself, but that appears in # form all over his Twitter feed and Lochte-branded merchandise. He's apparently doing this so that he can merchandise more crap. Ahead, some ideas for him.

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1. Jeah Nail Art

Ryan will want to capitalize on his female fan base by offering some special things just for the ladies. What better way to get them to love him even more (like, so that they spend money on his JEAH nonsense) than starting a JEAH nail art craze?

Suggested price: $8.99 for each set of stickers, which will ideally be made available at most major drug stores.


6. Jeah Bikini

This has a Jersey Shore tie-in written all over it. But I could also see Rihanna wearing it and making it "cool."

Suggested price: $49.99 for the top (mix-and-match bottoms should be sold separately). Might I also suggest an exclusive retail partner, like Victoria's Secret?

7. Jeah the Fragrance

It's a given. What do you think Jeah smells like? I say beer and Kiehl's products.

Suggested price: $59.99 for a large. May as well just sell this at Macy's next to Beyoncé and Jennifer Aniston's scents.


11. Jeah Haircut

I hope the other side of his head reads: "2012?" (Making the answer: "JEAH")

Suggested price: This has to be cheap — like $18.99 — because I sort of doubt Barack would splurge on an elitist haircut at this point.

12. Jeah Dog Grooming

Apparently there is a world of competitive grooming in which people turn dogs into other things (in this case, a dragon, and I'm not making that up).

Suggested price: Something that no one would be able to afford because this seems cruel/wrong and needs to stop?