11 Things No Irish Person Wants To Hear On St. Patrick's Day
Because Saint Patrick wants his people to celebrate the holiday cringe-free, folks.
1. "Happy Saint Patty's Day!"
It just hurts to hear, OK?
2. "Do you know (insert name of Irish friend here)?"
This is an awkward question for Irish people, because it forces us to explain a couple of things. First of all, there are more than four people on the island, and of course we don't all know each other. Second of all, yes your friend Aoife is my neighbor and also everyone actually does kind of know each other.
3. Anything in a fake Irish accent
No shade, but if Tom Cruise couldn't master the Celtic twang, we're not definite you'll deliver the perfect performance three whiskeys deep.
4. "Top of the morning to ya!"
Aside from "Please, ask me to say thirty-three and a third!", we're pretty sure this is the only sentence Ireland's chatty citizens have never uttered.
5. "Say thirty-three and a third!"
Only if you say Sadhbh.
6. Literally anything about potatoes
You can just do so much better, people.
7. "Póg mo thóin!"
The Gaelic language is a powerful, deeply meaningful part of Irish culture. Yelling "póg mo thóin" repeatedly from a rickshaw in Temple Bar at 3 a.m., though? Not so much.
8. "The Irish are such heavy drinkers!"
Sure, loads of Irish people love a good tipple, and it's no secret that our whiskey is some of the best in the world. In reality, though, Ireland doesn't even hit the top 20 countries for alcohol consumption per capita, so you might want to rethink your image of the Emerald Isle's boozy behavior!
9. "Where are the Lucky Charms?"
Believe it or not, most Irish people have never so much as seen a box of Lucky Charms. The cereal is an American invention, and you'd struggle to find a box of the sweet stuff in Ireland!
10. Any comment about leprechauns
We'll bet our pot of gold that we've heard whatever you were going to say a good couple of hundred times before.
11. "Isn't Ireland in the UK?"
This one is a biggie. The history between Ireland and the UK has been tense, to say the least, and this is pretty much the only question on the list that might genuinely offend. We promise to give you at least two "St. Patty's Day" passes if you steer clear of this one!