3. Ladies can play with the boys, too
5. It’s OK to grieve over a man
But move on, because he’s not worth it.
6. You’re never too old to have a wild relationship
Go Tilly! Good riddance, Cotton.
7. Embrace your physical attributes
Size 16 shoe is a lot of feet.
Show ‘em off. Ho yeah!
8. Dang ol’ double standards
How does it feel to get Boomhauer-ed, Boomhauer? Women can have dang ol’ one night stands, too.
9. Strive for leadership positions
And getting that position through a sort of coup d’etat in retaliation for an unfaithful husband makes that position feel even sweeter.
10. Let your voice be heard
I am woman, hear me roar — from the mouth of the gigantic Big Tex!
11. You don’t need a man to defend your honor
And defend other women from an evil renaissance king.
12. Challenge male oppression
If you don’t want to be a stay-at-home mom because you want to work, a public shaming of your husband ought to do the trick.
- Protests outside a Donald Trump rally in New Mexico turned violent Tuesday night as demonstrators threw rocks and bottles at police officers.
- The Afghan Taliban has picked an extremist scholar as its successor to leader Mullah Mansour, who was killed in a U.S. drone strike last week.
- Twitter will no longer count links, @names, and GIFs toward its 140-character limit. You can also retweet yourself now.