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Things Girls Know To Be True When Attempting To Prune The Lady Garden

Whether you're a bikini-line-tidier, a landscaper or prefer a naked-noo noo, shaving down there is something of a challenge.

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6. Then there's the moment you cut yourself


You wonder if your artery runs down that way, because your labia should not be be able to expel this much blood. This is a step that will undoubtedly be repeated multiple times.

8. You'll suddenly remember that they sell razors in multipacks for a reason


You curse yourself out for not taking through the entire pack as razor number 2 starts to blunt against your poor, sensitive honeypot.

12. You stare in bewilderment - how is there so much of it!?


You've been balding your beaver for at least half an hour and are only half-way done. But your bath would suggest you've sheered an entire sheep (this is hair colour-dependent analogy, yes, but now consider how cute a ginger/blonde/brunette sheep would be...)

13. When you're finally finished, you will feel like a naked molerat, regardless of how much hair you actually removed from your vajayjay.


Other animals you may relate to include, but are not restricted to, dolphins, Siamese cats, butterflies (so I've been told) or majestic piglets (although that may just be me). Alternative suggestions are most welcome.

14. Congratulations, you shaved your vagina!


I'd like to thank Eve Ensler for providing the various names for female private parts, as can be found in The Vagina Monologues - the play that inspired this post. I was distracted by mentally directing my own production while I showered and experienced all of the above.

And remember - your body, your choice. Shave if you wanna, leave it free if you don't! There are no rules here, despite what society and porn and pressures might have you believe.

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