1. Taylor Swift opened the the show with a medley of "You Need to Calm Down" and "Lover."
2. Her friends all danced along to the performance, like Camila Cabello...
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...Justin Mikita and Jesse Tyler Ferguson...
...and Gigi Hadid, who can only be described as doing the "wine mom shuffle."
3. Missy Elliott performed an ICONIC set of her hits:
4. And was then awarded the top honor of the night: the VMA Video Vanguard award.
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5. It included bringing back Alyson Stoner and her truly mind-blowing dance skills for a rendition of "Work It."
6. Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello performed "Señiorita" together for the first time and almost kissed, but it was a fake-out.
7. Luckily, the audience cam caught the celebrity reactions to the almost-kiss.
8. Queen Latifah and John Travolta reunited to present the award for Video of the Year.
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9. He made an "Adele Dazeem" joke as if his flub was totally in the past, but then one-upped himself when he attempted to give Taylor Swift's award to Jade Jolie instead.
10. Lil Nas X won Song of the Year for "Old Town Road"...
...and performed "Panini," NOT "Old Town Road."
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11. Joe Jonas and his new wife Sophie Turner cheered on Taylor Swift (Joe's ex) when she won.
12. Lizzo showed up on the red carpet SLAYING...
13. And then she gave a rousing, motivate-you-out-of-your-seat kind of performance in front of a giant butt.
14. And while she didn't take home an award tonight, she did win first place for Best Audience Participation.
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15. Miley Cyrus gave an emotional performance of her new (breakup) song "Slide Away" in black and white.
16. And Miley's parents Tish and Billy Ray were in the front row to support her.
17. There was a mini Sopranos reunion when Jamie-Lynn Sigler, Vincent Pastore, and Drea de Matteo walked onto the stage.
18. The US Women's Soccer team players Ali Krieger, Ashlyn Harris, and Alex Morgan sipped tea.
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19. Normani went and ~did her thing~ and the world was impressed.
20. Halsey spoke about her personal style.
21. Both Tana Mongeau and H.E.R. wore live snakes for accessories.
22. Someone named Bobby Lytes totally photobombed host Sebastian Maniscalco.
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23. Bad Bunny and J. Balvin's performance was ~pretty trippy~.
24. Cardi B clapped.
25. Bebe Rexha gave a bunch of high fives.
26. Bella Hadid was touched.
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