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Food

I Hate To Break It To Literally All Of You, But Eggs Are The Absolute Worst

They're bad. Case closed.

Shelby Heinrich
BuzzFeed Staff

Alrighty it's time to LISTEN UP because I...*makes megaphone with hands*...HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY.

TBS

And that thing is: eggs are fucking disgusting.

gdaves_496 / Via reddit.com

You heard me. Eggs are the absolute worst and I am sick and tired of everyone trying to convince me that they're good. So I am here to once and for all lay out all the reasons why eggs do not deserve the admiration they (for some reason) constantly receive.

Nickelodeon

(Actual footage of everyone not shutting the fuck up about eggs.)

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Now listen here, I know damn well that eggs are often an ingredient in many delicious foods, like cookies and cake. But that's not what this is about. This is about eggs by themselves, which are an offense to tastebuds at literally every turn.

FOX

Let's get into it, shall we?

First of all, the texture of scrambled eggs is an absolute fucking nightmare.

DezWheelsTho / Via reddit.com

It's like you're chewing on an actual brain. Dont @ me.

Egg whites aren't much better.

CansOfCorn / Via reddit.com

It should be impossible for something to taste both bad and like nothing at the exact same time. And yet...

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Eggs Benedict is literally egg covered in egg sauce. Why???

Skottie / Via reddit.com

I don't need egg on my egg. I don't need egg in the first place. Get that shit away from me!!!

And sunny-side-up eggs are like eating a gusher filled with horrendous goo that never stops gushing.

ImNoPCGamer / Via reddit.com

I've audibly gagged seeing someone cut into a sunny-side-up egg with their fork. It should be illegal.

I have two words for you: DEVILED EGGS.

fleursxnoires

They have the word "devil" in the name for god's sake??? Have you ever SMELLED these while they're being prepared????? Only Lucifer himself could be behind that.

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Also, boiled eggs are a slimy, rubbery disgrace.

oscaristheboss / Via reddit.com

Nay, a slimy, rubbery disgrace filled with CHALKY YOLK BITS. What about that is appetizing???

And I can already hear all you egg apologists coming out of the woodwork with, "ok, but wHaT aBoUt oMeLeTs???"

instagram.com

Well guess what? Omelets rely solely on all the other shit that's in them to actually make them edible/appealing. Without all the fixins they're just a pile of eggs. Which we've established are awful.

IKissWhiteMensAsses / Via reddit.com

You know I'm right.

And as if that's not enough, you fiends keep insisting on putting eggs on EVERYTHING. It's one thing for me to see eggs on toast...

instagram.com

but PASTA???

Instagram: @undefined

No.

AND PIZZA?!?!?! ABSOLUTELY NOT.

instagram.com

If this doesn't fill you with a combo of sadness, rage, and disgust, I can't save you.

So there you have it. Eggs are disgusting and the absolute worst. No further questions. Case. CLOSED.

Bravo / Via giphy.com

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And if after all that you still don't agree with me, that's fine...

Comedy Central

I'll leave you all with this.

crawlingpuppy / Via reddit.com

GOOD DAY!!!!

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