Alice in Wonderland starts off chill. Alice is a bored girl with an active imagination. As a kid, that's relatable.
Then shit gets real. This movie is terrifying from the moment Alice starts falling, and you're like WHAT IF SHE NEVER STOPS.
Wonderland makes no sense. Which means Alice is ALWAYS LOST.
And EVERYONE SHE MEETS IS SCARY.
GAH TWINS.
Then there's this abomination.
The whole tea party is a nightmare.
It looks like the hat is talking. Not cool.
Plus they're so MEAN.
ALSO: What the hell are these!
KILL IT WITH FIRE.
And everyone is totally unhelpful. Like, oh, a lost little girl? We'll just let her fend for herself.
The fact that Alice is mostly unfazed just makes it worse. Why isn't she PANICKING?
Speaking of the caterpillar, let's talk about drugs.
No.
NO.
NEVER.
:-(
Is this what being high is like?
Never smoking anything. Ever.
There's also this weird sense that it's all Alice's fault?
Listen, if you're drowning in your own tears, the problem is not that you cried too much. It's that YOUR SIZE KEEPS CHANGING.
Alice is a SWEET GIRL. It's not her fault that Wonderland is the worst.
Like, who does this?
This poor little thing is tripping. It's fun until it's not.
Way existential. Total mindfuck.
PLEASE.
You just keep thinking, why did she go down the rabbit hole!
Why did she smoke that purple shit!
Go back to your idyllic pre-Wonderland life, Alice.
You had a cat. You had it all.
The next time you watch Alice in Wonderland, think about how badly you want to shout at the screen, "NO, ALICE, YOUR 'WONDERLAND' IS TRAUMATIC AND AWFUL."
