1. Posts a temperature shot on their story.
I get that it's hot, but guys...this happens every summer. We're all living through it. Are the constant temp updates necessary?
2. Eats a Zooper Dooper.
Whether you purposefully stock up on them, or you just unearth an icy packet at the back of your freezer from three summer ago, they're a godsend on a hot day.
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3. Goes to Kmart and buys a $10 fan.
Despite the fact we know it'll die after one season, you just can't go past the low price.
4. Gets a 50 cent cone from Macca's.
I don't care that these aren't 50 cents any more, they're still called 50 cent cones in my heart.
5. Eats hot chips on the beach and spends the whole time protecting the goods from seagulls.
If you get through a whole serve of chips without a casualty, you can count it as a win.
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6. Burns themselves on the seatbelt thingy.
Every year, as you wrap your hands around the sizzling steering wheel, you swear you're finally going to buy one of those windscreen reflectors.
7. Goes to the movies or shopping centre, just for a bit of air con.
Yes, the crowds are hell, especially around Christmas time. But that air con is sweet, sweet relief.
8. Gets caught in a summer storm.
These storms always come out of nowhere. One second you're chilling on the beach and the next the sky is full of grey clouds.
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9. Is trapped on a train that is so hot, it feels like it's travelling through the depths of hell.
Maybe the one upside of COVID will be quieter peak-hour trains this summer?
10. Has the internal debate of whether it's best to sleep with the window open and endure the bugs, or sleep with it closed and endure the heat.
There's nothing worse than finally drifting off thanks to a cool breeze, only to hear a "zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz" flying around your head.
11. Steps in a patch full of bindis.
By now, we should all know better than to walk barefoot through grass. But these sneaky shits hide themselves well and you never know until it's too late.
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12. Starts a conversation with a stranger using the line "it's hot out there."
13. Eats a bowl of cherries in the sun.
Then you have a lil' competition to see who can spit their seed the furthest. Cherry pits are way more aerodynamic than watermelon seeds, let's be real.
14. Buys an entire tray of mangoes when they're on sale.
You're lured in by the scent and the thought of having mangoes on hand at all times. But, by the time you get home, you realise you're gonna have to eat mango for breakfast, lunch and dinner to finish them before they go bad.
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15. Listens to "In The Summertime" by Thirsty Merc.
Even if you hate this song, you're going to hear it at some point — at the pub, in a shop or on your mate's ironic bangers playlist.
16. Watches the cricket or rolls their eyes as someone in their household watches the cricket.
The sound of cricket commentary is the sound of summer. Even if you're not a fan.
17. Pauses to pick the least-crushed flower off the ground under a frangipani tree.
Then you take it home and put it in a dish of water, only for it to become rank and slimy within hours.
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18. Answers the question of "Do you have air con?" with the answer "Yeah, but we never use it."
Why are Australians the only people in the world who seem proud of the fact that they don't use the air con that they so desperately need over summertime?
19. And finally, buys a novel they've been meaning to read forever, takes it with them on every beach trip, swears that this is the year they'll finish it, reads a chapter and then forgets about it.
RIP to all the 500-page beach reads that I'll never get around to.
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