13 American Words That Have A Totally Different Meaning In Britain

Trumps are disgusting, tbh.

1.

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What it means in America: Potentially the next president.

What it means in Britain: A fart. Wind. Gas. American people entertaining the notion of “President Trump” is akin to the next British prime minister being called David Fart. No one would take him seriously; there’s no way he would’ve made headway in politics at all, let alone come within sniffing distance of the leadership. The sooner Americans get wise to the true meaning of the word “trump,” the better.

2.

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What it means in America: Feisty, spirited, plucky. As in, “My niece is spunky.”

What it means in Britain: Covered in semen. If your niece is spunky, you’re not going to tell people about it.

3.

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What it means in America: A police officer.

What it means in Britain: To grope. In Britain, you might cop a feel of a boob, a willy, or a bum, but seriously DON’T do this. Copping a feel is a creepy thing to do that’ll make you seem like a sex pest.

4.

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What it means in America: It’s just a good, wholesome boy’s name. Probably the name of that sweet-natured boy you got the school bus with.

What it means in Britain: Horny – but in a ridiculous, enthusiastic, comedic way. A dog is randy when it tries to hump your leg. Poor American boys called Randy. To us Brits, it’s a really stupid name. Sorry.

5.

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What it means in America: Trousers.

What it means in Britain: KNICKERS. Knickers. Seriously, you Americans don’t understand how much pants just aren’t trousers to most British people (I think there might be some weirdos in the North that call trousers pants, but forget those people).

When you talk about wearing your favourite pants to work, we imagine you in the office in your underwear. For this reason, it is very hard for us to be scared of you.

6.

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What it means in America: A pretty-derogatory-these-days word for a homeless person.

What it means in Britain: Your butt! So, like, if an American visited Britain and said they saw loads of bums everywhere, we’d think that American was a pervert, when in fact they were just a dickhead.

7.

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What it means in America: A full stop. Like, “You must never do that again, period!”

What it means in Britain: The red river that floweth from a lady’s vagina as the moon waxeth and waneth. OK, so Americans also called blood-periods periods, but for some godforsaken reason they also call full stops periods. To British people this is absurd, especially when figures of authority like parents and teachers shout “period” at children to put an end to the argument. If a British mum shouted “period” at her child, the child would just laugh.

8.

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What it means in America: The opposite of “push.”

What it means in Britain: To kiss someone, usually a stranger or someone you don’t know that well. For instance, you couldn’t “pull” your boyfriend. But you could definitely “pull” that sweaty guy in a cap and ill-fitting T-shirt standing at the bar, after you’ve downed one too many Smirnoff Ices.

9.

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What it means in America: A type of dance or a type of rug.

What it means in Britain: To have sex with someone you don’t know that well and have very few, if any, emotional feelings towards.

10.

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What it means in America: The back bottom, the bum, the butt, the ass.

What it means in Britain: The front bottom, the vagina, the pussy, the vaj. This is why British people can’t keep a straight face when Americans talk about wearing fanny packs. The best thing is that some of the keenest wearers of fanny packs are middle-aged American tourists who have no idea how funny it sounds when they keep saying “fanny” over and over again.

11.

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What it means in America: Thick-set, big-boned, curvy. Like, “I was kinda thick when I was a teenager.”

What it means in Britain: Dumb as fuck. If you’re thick you’re really, really stupid. You can’t understand anything, you make crap decisions, you just don’t have a clue. There’s not really any coming back from being thick, either. If you say you were “kinda thick as a teenager”, you’re probably still kinda thick now.

12.

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What it means in America: A handle on a door or drawer.

What it means in Britain: A penis or an unpleasant person. Eg. “That guy in the Speedos has a massive knob.” Or, “That guy in the Speedos is a massive knob.” Very different Speedos guys. Could also be, “That guy in the Speedos with the massive knob is a massive knob.”

13.

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What it means in America: Something cosy and warm you put over your ears, as in earmuffs, or something cosy and warm for your hands.

What it means in Britain: Something cosy and warm AND INTIMATE for your hands. A muff for British people refers to a woman’s pubes. Muffs are great for fiddling with in a nonsexual way while watching TV – an extremely relaxing pastime.