Look, the Fifty Shades of Grey franchise is endlessly problematic, but I simply cannot look away.
I've never read the books (I downloaded the first one, made it to the part about his voice sounding like "melted chocolate," stopped, then stared out a window for 30 minutes questioning everything), but I HAVE seen both of the movies because I...like movies in general? And this is a part of pop culture?
Anyway, while we received a teaser back in September, today we got the first full-length look at Fifty Shades Freed, the third and final film in the series.
It appears that Christian and Ana got married, which isn't really a shocker, since they got engaged at the end of the second film.
And they do normal married people things like waking each other up, taking lavish vacations, and doing the classic white-man-in-Pop-Culture move of buying a house without consulting his new wife first.
But then the architect who is designing their house (and who looks SCARILY like Ivanka Trump) starts hitting on Christian, and Ana is like LOL I didn't come this far for you and your middle part to hit on my man, sweetie.
But that's not all, there's also car chases through beautiful wooded areas.
And that floppy-haired jerk from the second one who straight-up assaulted Ana, and now appears to be out for revenge because that's what jerks do.