1. The roommate who thinks they are helping with the chores.
But insists on leaving the trash next to the front door—even though they walk past the dumpster on the way to their car.
2. The glass horder.
There you are, hungover, or potentially still drunk, desperate for a glass of water, but when you open the cupboard (gasp) all the glasses are gone…Again! So instead you stick your head under the faucet spraying your face and the majority of the counter space with water. When those glasses make their way back to the kitchen half of them have fuzzy bits of mold clinging to the insides from months of being held hostage.
3. The neurotic roommate who taped up all outside doors and windows this summer.
Because they don’t want bugs to get inside, they explained, when telling you the patio was off limits.
4. The unapologetic borrower.
When confronted she claims she washed them and doesn’t see what the big deal is. You insist she keep them.
5. The roommate you share a (tiny) bathroom with.
Who leaves all their dirty laundry on the floor for weeks on end. (Ever hear of a laundry hamper?)
6. The rule breaker.
You notice a funny smell coming from their room, upon further investigation you realize they are raising chickens in there. You tell the landlord, but don’t anticipate her evicting both of you.
7. The roommate that thinks the house stays cooler when they crank the AC and open their bedroom windows.
When you try to discuss the lack of rationale in their thought process they begin locking their bedroom door to prevent you from closing their windows.
8. The forgetful roommate.
They lost their house key and ‘borrowed’ yours (without letting you know, of course). You’ve climbed the neighbors balcony to reach your second floor apt. twice now.
9. The thief.
Finally, at long last you think the nightmare is over. Your lease is up and boxes are being packed. When a few of your favorite items go missing before the move, you sink to a new low as you shuffle through your soon to be ex-roommates boxes pulling out dresses, your new top, your favorite jeans…
Authors note: these are all real stories that happened to real people, unfortunately.
- The Army Corps of Engineers and North Dakota police have ordered protesters to leave the Dakota Access Pipeline site by this afternoon or face arrest.
- Seven Earth-sized planets that could have water and possibly sustain life have been discovered orbiting a dwarf star, NASA announced today.
- The ACLU is suing the city of Milwaukee and its police for allegedly performing thousands of illegal stop-and-frisk searches that targeted minorities.
- #Peggygate: West Elm offers full refunds for the notoriously disintegrating Peggy Couch days after pulling it from its website and stores👏