The Best Of The Michael Haneke Twitter Account

The famed Austrian filmmaker “joined” Twitter last week. Who knew Michael Haneke was so into cats?

just joined twitter lol

— Michael Haneke (@Michael_Haneke) November 12, 2012

my cat just farted lol #catfart

— Michael Haneke (@Michael_Haneke) November 12, 2012

hey @tarareid will u star in my new movie? its a remake of piano teacher but with fitter people in lol

— Michael Haneke (@Michael_Haneke) November 13, 2012

this weeknd wud u rather see a film about sexy vampires or old people havin strokes? #goseeamour lol

— Michael Haneke (@Michael_Haneke) November 13, 2012

why did the chicken cross the road? to go c my new film amour lol

— Michael Haneke (@Michael_Haneke) November 13, 2012

can sum1 lend me season4 of ghost whisperer on dvd lol

— Michael Haneke (@Michael_Haneke) November 13, 2012

my new film amour is like when the moon hits the sky like a big pizza pie lol

— Michael Haneke (@Michael_Haneke) November 13, 2012

if chips is a vegetable then I have had lots of vegetables 2day lol

— Michael Haneke (@Michael_Haneke) November 13, 2012

im doing gangnam style with my cat but he keeps farting lol

— Michael Haneke (@Michael_Haneke) November 13, 2012

if i get 500 followers ill tell u who was filmin the vids in hidden, that film i done with the girl from dan in real life lol

— Michael Haneke (@Michael_Haneke) November 13, 2012

u shud c my film code unknown. its based on this time i forgot my pin code. its in foreign though lol

— Michael Haneke (@Michael_Haneke) November 13, 2012

me: what shall we do 2nte. izzy huppert: watch a dog fight. me: u always say that!!! lol

— Michael Haneke (@Michael_Haneke) November 14, 2012

joke time: the piano teacher was based on my friend melissa who cant play piano and hates teachers lol

— Michael Haneke (@Michael_Haneke) November 14, 2012

juliet binosh (that girl from dan in real life) can eat a cornetto in 2 bites. srsly. its sick lol

— Michael Haneke (@Michael_Haneke) November 14, 2012

joke time: knock knock. whos there? ifyou. ifyou who? ifyou like old people gettin strokes #goseeamour lol

— Michael Haneke (@Michael_Haneke) November 14, 2012

. @tgifridays have u thought about making an aftershave that smells like ur mozzarella sticks? dm me if u want 2 talk business lol

— Michael Haneke (@Michael_Haneke) November 14, 2012

busy day ahed of wearin a sandwich board n giving out leaflets for my new film amour. evry 10th leaflet comes with a twix #goseeamour lol

— Michael Haneke (@Michael_Haneke) November 15, 2012

sumtimes i call my friend izzy huppert (actress) a dizzy puppet and she gets so mad lol

— Michael Haneke (@Michael_Haneke) November 15, 2012

playin tennis but usin my parms dorz as rackets. u shud try it at home. u all have parms dorz rite? lol

— Michael Haneke (@Michael_Haneke) November 15, 2012

if i get to 1000 followers, ill tell u why those boys were trolling that family in my laugh-til-you-fart comedy funny games lol

— Michael Haneke (@Michael_Haneke) November 15, 2012

one day i was wrapping xmas presents and i ran out of white ribbun. i was so sad that i wrote a film all about it. u heard of it lol

— Michael Haneke (@Michael_Haneke) November 15, 2012

did evry1 get that the videotapes in hidden was a metaphor for the cameras which symbolised videotapes lol

— Michael Haneke (@Michael_Haneke) November 15, 2012

. @debramessing im sorry for cutting ur role from my new film amour. can we still b friends plz lol

— Michael Haneke (@Michael_Haneke) November 15, 2012

if u go 2 c my film amour 2day youll get a free twix. if u go 2 c twilight youll get no free twix. tuff choice huh lol

— Michael Haneke (@Michael_Haneke) November 16, 2012

sumtimes i think i shud change my name to skittles haneke. thats how much i love skittles lol #iloveskittles

— Michael Haneke (@Michael_Haneke) November 16, 2012

does any1 know the best way 2 get bbq sauce off a parms dorz? o sorry keep 4gettin u dont have 1 lol

— Michael Haneke (@Michael_Haneke) November 16, 2012

. @salmanrushdie will u plz stop texting me with ghost whisperer spoilers lol

— Michael Haneke (@Michael_Haneke) November 16, 2012

juliet binosh (dark hair, dan in real life) just claimd her dad inventd the term “fuck a duck”. can any1 verify this lol

— Michael Haneke (@Michael_Haneke) November 16, 2012

. @realfayedunaway ive dm-ed u my account detayls so u can pay me back for my toilet u broke lol

— Michael Haneke (@Michael_Haneke) November 16, 2012

. @adamsandler can i hav my magic remote control back? i want to undo that fart my cat just did lol

— Michael Haneke (@Michael_Haneke) November 17, 2012

joke time: what did oliver twist say 2 the cinema usher? plz sir can i have amour #goseeamour lol

— Michael Haneke (@Michael_Haneke) November 17, 2012

plz RT if u want an english vershun of my teen movie spoof white ribbun in colur with naomi watts, girl from ring 2 lol

— Michael Haneke (@Michael_Haneke) November 18, 2012

eurgh sumtimes im such a phoebe lol

— Michael Haneke (@Michael_Haneke) November 18, 2012

amour amour amour, how did u lyk it how did u lyk it lol

— Michael Haneke (@Michael_Haneke) November 18, 2012

to keep the mood lite on set i make evry1 watch werner hurtsog interviews inbtwn takes lol

— Michael Haneke (@Michael_Haneke) November 18, 2012

just found out wot the word auteur means. thanx evry1 lol

— Michael Haneke (@Michael_Haneke) November 19, 2012

. @darrenaronofsky i did that quiz u told me 2 do. turns out im a samantha lol

— Michael Haneke (@Michael_Haneke) November 19, 2012

38. Welcome to Twitter, Michael Haneke!

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