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Being a new parent means experiencing some unpleasant things. But the future is here. You can literally just press an Amazon Dash Button and bail yourself out. Stick one anywhere, and with a simple press, you'll have what you need before you know it. And that's pretty neat.
"Haha, that's cool, no, this shirt was too clean anyway! Thanks!!!"
*Button press* Detergent.
*Button press* Detergent.
*Button press* Detergent.
Definitely can't have too much detergent.
TRY TO REMAIN CALM. JUST PRESS THE BUTTON — YOU KNOW, THE ONE YOU STUCK ABOVE THE TOILET FOR THIS EXACT SCENARIO.
Until that day comes, press the button. Press it, and receive some nice paper towels to clean up your mess of a baby. Just kidding, your baby is great!
Press that button, and get yourself a magical disinfectant, one that'll wipe away all of your pain, troubles, and stains.
You can do something about it — get yourself some air freshener delivered, bub!
You need to slam that dang candle button you stuck on the wall at home and re-introduce some Zen into your life in the form of aromatherapy candles, stat.
DUDE. EAT. THEY HAVE BUTTONS FOR THAT NOW.
RIP, friend. But this shall not be the end of you, for you shall be resurrected through the power of button technology.
Don't hammer your walls aimlessly until you've pressed that friggin' button and had your morning coffee delivered to your friggin' door.
Sorry for swearing.
When you pass out, try to land with your finger on the button so you get some energy drinks delivered. That would be cool.
Treat them to something nice, like some dog biscuits. Maybe teach them to press the button! Woof.
"No, honey — see, you're giving yourself the bigger piece. Ugh, let's just order more. Where'd you put that button?"
Pal, you press that button and the condoms will be there quicker than you can say "Sexy sex man needs himself a condom, son." Only in this case you don't want another son. That would defeat the purpose of the condoms.
Anyway, good for you.