amazingrando
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    • amazingrando

      Was at a newish guy friend’s place after a night out with the friend group. I was only just slightly drunk. He had a trilby hat hanging on his wall, and because we tend to give each other a lot of playful shit, I started ragging on him about it. The words “douche” and “neckbeard” may have come into play. He looked me dead in the eye and told me it was his grandfather’s hat. His grandfather who died and who was more of a father to him than his deadbeat dad. Essentially, that hat was a memorial to the most important male figure in his entire life. I kind of wanted to crawl into a hole of shame, but we’re best friends now so I guess it worked out ok.

    • amazingrando

      Obviously this wouldn’t bother everyone based on varying sexual preferences, but I’m (regrettably, believe me) a super straight lady, and I’m always frustrated by the hyper-focus on the woman’s body, which tends to dominate the majority of the shots in M/F porn. I get it, because straight porn is made with the male gaze in mind, but what about the female gaze? The *filthy* straight female gaze, I mean. I always wanted to see more shots of the guy enjoying himself - his face, his body language, etc. Even if it’s an average or less than average looking guy, I always want to see more of him. Most of the porn I find seems to be made up largely of shots where the woman takes up 80% of the frame and 95% of the audio (which tends to be obnoxious moans of fake pleasure), while the guy is just a disembodied crotch. I can’t help but notice, too, that POV shots are always from the man’s point of view, and rarely from the woman’s.  Ladies can like trashy porn as much as men can, and we don’t necessarily need touchy-feely, soft-lit, plot-based, romantic “porn for women.” I feel like I’m part of an untapped market, here.

    • amazingrando

      THE L SHAPED SHEETS. Perfect for exposing your leading man’s rippling abs while also obscuring the leading lady’s body from the collarbone down. Actually sheets/blankets of any kind. Do people actually have sex under them in real life? I don’t get it. Also the sex is always so damn serious. No one ever seems to joke or laugh unless it’s a comedy movie (and even then, not necessarily). Sex is ridiculous and hilarious - Embrace it. Last one - strangers, acquaintances, and people having sex for the first time always having unprotected sex where the implication is the guy didn’t pull out. Is every woman in movie/tv land just assumed to be on birth control? Or is that awkward question not shown being asked in between the hot and heavy groping session in the elevator and the passionate wordless sex in the protagonist’s apartment?

    • amazingrando

      In my personal experience, this absolutely does happen in bars, especially when the crowd is in their 20’s and 30’s. I love the ladies’ bathroom at my go-to bar. My guy friends don’t believe me when I tell them about the lovely compliments and drunken sisterhood I encounter every time I take a piss.  One time I was waiting in line and a girl came in with a glass of water and a concerned expression. She told me she was looking for a girl who was really drunk, but she didn’t even know her name. At that moment, said drunk girl fell flat on her ass in the stall she was in and knocked the stall door open, leaving her splayed out on the bathroom floor. The girl with the water, myself, and another girl helped her up and gathered all her things. The other girl managed to get the drunk girl to slur her address, then paid for an uber ride home for her, waited with her for the uber, then TOOK THE UBER HOME WITH HER to make sure she was ok, then ubered back to the bar. She never even got the drunk girl’s name. Bathroom sisterhood is real and it is beautiful.

    • amazingrando

      It has to do with being turned off by comments with the pure and innocent connotation of simply just “you two are both attractive to me and therefore will make attractive children” because you’ve heard so many other “compliments” that include an add on like “… mixed kids are just so beautiful!”/”mixed babies are the CUTEST babies!” You hear things like that tacked on enough times and you start to hear them in your head EVERY time someone comments on your potential offspring. I’ve never had someone comment on future baby quality with ANY of my previous boyfriends, who were white. I hear it all the time now, obviously only from white people.  White people can be really fucking weird about mixed children. It’s like they look “different” enough to be unique and eye-catching in their mostly-white world, but aren’t “so black” that they’re made uncomfortable by them.  It’s hard to explain, I guess. Add to all of this the fact that people comment on what lovely babies we’d make purely out of the blue, when no one is even talking about kids. You kind of get the feeling that they’re patting themselves on the back for these sorts of compliments, like they get a gold star for their display of “tolerance” for not just accepting an interracial couple, but encouraging them to reproduce together, even when it wasn’t even a topic of the conversation before they brought it up.

    • amazingrando

      I wish I could say I call people out on it more. Usually I just laugh it off, but if it’s a guy I know well enough I’ll take the opportunity to question the adequacy of his own junk (or, if it’s a lady, her ability to take a dick.) Unfortunately, our sex life is a running gag among our white male friends. We both roll with some pretty inappropriate people, though, so we usually take the jokes and run with them. So maybe we’re part of the problem because we let them get away with wayyyy more than we should ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    • amazingrando

      Rolling my eyes at the people saying this isn’t a thing. I’ve heard some variation of 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 9, 10, 11, and 12 at least once if not multiple times in the 9 years I’ve been with my boyfriend, whose black friends for *years* called me “his white girl.”  Don’t get me started on the completely inappropriate comments/questions about his dick size, or about how much that factors into my decision to be with him. His white friends are known to joke about my “poor vagina” to my face. My own sister, while drunk, made a comment about how I must have a huge vag. People will always be curious and weird about us. We made a game out of wearing reflective sunglasses in public so we can spy on the gawkers when they think we’re not watching them watch us.

    • amazingrando

      I was never a fan of anything Kardashian-related. Not a hater, maybe semi-annoyed yet largely indifferent. When this happened I felt so awful for her that I found myself telling off people (in my personal life, not online) for treating it like a joke, especially women. As soon as I heard the story, particularly that she was tied up, I could just imagine the very real fear of being raped. Just so goddamn awful. My heart broke for her. The fact that they turned it into more fuel for the show feels weird to me, but it’s her story and her life so whatever.

    • amazingrando

      This is hard for me to wrap my head around. I used to be seriously bitchy but I’ve made a huge effort in the past couple of years to check my nasty thoughts and comments. I’d hate to think that makes me come off as “insincere” or fake, but being nicer has made me a happier person. I’m all for emotional honesty - I don’t fake being nice or kind, and if I’m not a fan of someone I just don’t interact with or think about them when I don’t have to. I’m no saint, and there’s certainly people I don’t like and disparage without thinking, but these days I try to catch myself and make a mental note to be compassionate first. Maybe this sounds preachy, but I’ve found you get back what you put out into the world.
      ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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