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BUrdZZFEED Presents: What Kind Of Bird Are You?

This is obviously an important question. Check out amateurnithologist for more bird nonsense.

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  1. What's your favorite kind of social event?

    A quiet dinner party with a small group of friends
    A high-energy street festival with a ton of people
    Just me and my family at home
    What's a social event?
  2. What is your favorite kind of meal?

    Junk food, fast food, whatever tastes good
    Only the finest restaurants for me. If it doesn't have a glowing review, I'm not going.
    Glittering gems and tiny ornate gears, just like everyone else likes
    The more exotic and flavorful, the better. I'd rather not be able to read my menu or pronounce my food items.
  3. Which of these statements best describes your spirituality?

    I think there's some greater power or afterlife out there, but it doesn't really effect the way I live my life.
    I believe I will be rewarded for my good deeds in in bird heaven, or maybe when I'm reincarnated as a cooler bird.
    Wicca, Paganism, Ancient Aliens, Nature Spirits, etc. (the truth is out there)
    I prefer not to think about it and mostly focus on the here and now
  4. Where would you want to go on vacation?

    Party all night in the big city
    Sun, sand, and surf at the beach
    A lonesome desert road
    Forests, mountains, mountainous forests, forested mountains
  5. How do you measure your success?

    By joules of energy consumed
    Money, prestige, power
    By the happiness of my friends and family
    By amount of life experiences
  6. What do you look for in a partner?

    Someone who will support my ambitions and goals
    Compatibly charged ions
    Someone to have intellectual conversations with
    Mostly just want a physical thing. I don't want to put labels on it.
  7. What's your favorite kind of movie?

    Overcoming-the-odds inspiration piece
    Adam Sandler fart-comedy
    A real weeper
    NBA (nothing but anime)
  8. What's your most common footwear?
    Fancy Shoes or Loafers
    Tennis Shoes
    Cowboy Boots
  9. How do you react in a conflict?

    Try to make peace. Can't we all just get along?
    Become wracked by guilt, whether you're responsible for it or not. Switch to internalized anger, which is then rapidly externalized.
    Just start punching someone.
    Freeze up, lacking enough data to deal with the situation. Smoke billows from your ears.
  10. If you were gonna create some art, what would it be?
    An ambitiously non-traditional, meandering piece of prose
    Something self-aggrandizing, like a big gold statue
    A visual art piece that isn't 'of' anything in particular, but you think it evokes a feeling pretty well.
    An aggressive, jarring electronic soundscape

BUrdZZFEED Presents: What Kind Of Bird Are You?

You got: You are a Crow!

You're smart, resourceful, and idiosyncratic. Sometimes you overthink things. You're a little weird socially with other non-corvids. Usually you stay out of conflict, but you have a firm moral code and get riled up when it is violated. You get by mostly on innate skill. You have a sense of humor that you like to think is "a little dark", but you should probably look out for being an asshole. You have a rivalry with Owls.

You are a Crow!
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You got: You are a Duck!

People are happy to see you. You are generally uncomplicated, but that's good. You're a dedicated friend/partner/parent and tend to value tranquility in your life. You prefer not to think about 'the big questions'. You get by mainly on hard work and dedication.

You are a Duck!
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You got: You are an Owl!

Your primary connections with the world are spiritual or even supernatural in nature. You talk to ghosts. You have some frustration for those who only care about what is visible, ignoring the hidden 90% of the iceberg. Sometimes, you are evil, but you don't have to be. You have a rivalry with crows, who are aggressively secular.

You are an Owl!
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You got: You are a Hummingbird!


You are a Hummingbird!
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You got: You are a Seagull!

You look out for number 1. You realize there are limited resources to go around and find people who deliberately limit themselves ridiculous. You never back down in an argument, and you usually win. Many of the things that you're supposed to care about, you don't care about. Life's a bitch and then you die.

You are a Seagull!
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You got: You are a Hawk!

People think you're very tough and cool, but you're really not. Or are you? You prefer solitude and open spaces, and are uncomfortable at parties. You have a rich internal life. You dream of creating something that will exist after you're gone. You value your freedom and prefer to leave the radio off and the windows down while you take long drives, which is something you love to do.

You are a Hawk!
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You got: You are a Pelican!

Not content with what you have, even though you have more than most. You have connections. You keep meticulous track of people who owe you favors or who have wronged you. If someone hits you, you hit back, harder. Laws and norms only hold people back from their true potential. You have a hierarchical view of others.

You are a Pelican!
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You got: You are a Woodpecker!

You're a bit punk, but in fact are quite popular and well-liked. In fact, you wish you were a bit less well-liked; it's not good for your cred and you're troubled by feelings of inauthenticity. At times you can be stubborn- you'll keep trying to overcome an obstacle in the same way, even if it didn't work the first time. You value the good times you have with your wide circle of friends. You would like to make a difference in the world, but in a way that's not, like, super hard work.

You are a Woodpecker!
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