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When my daughter was 7 we were at Target when she saw a funny card with Mr. PotatoHead at the urinal, complaining he forgot “it” at home. She asked what “it” was and I would only say I’d explain later. A few aisles later, near some shopping old ladies, she shouted at me, “Oh I get…
Telling my daughter something was rude typically led to her doing it more. So when she was little I told her I couldn’t understand her when she spoke with food in her mouth. She’s 8 now and was very surprised to learn I could understand her the whole time. She thought it was a trait…
To this day instead of "congratulations" my 7 year old daughter says "good-glad-you-lations." But the best was when she was 3 anytime she asked to watch "The Fox and the Hound" it she would say "I watch fuckin' hound?! I watch fuckin' hound?!" I have it recorded to make me smile when…
For the record, I don't drink wine, and my daughter, 7, doesn't know what it is. But I'm buying a bottle of wine for a work party and the clerk is swiping the bottle at checkout when my daughter picks that moment to look at me with big eyes and say, "mama, why don't you spend more…
I don't know what the motivation was but this is my daughter's kindergarten photo last year. And she already knows it's going on her graduation cake some day.
Two things! When I was about 8 months pregnant I was at the store, looking at something while I rubbed my belly and the kicker inside. Suddenly I hear right in my ear, "I know what you got in there." I jumped away from the woman and almost ran to find my husband!
Another time I was…
When I was 2 I bit a Mercury thermometer in half and swallowed it. After fessing up I was rushed to the ER where x-rays found glass pieces in my lung. Mercury digested is not so bad, but Mercury inhaled is worse. On my way to surgery a last X-ray was done and no glass was found, anywhere…
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