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6 Ways To Get Over An Ex (and 3 Ways To Not)

Let’s be real, who hasn’t been through a breakup?? Friend breakups, romantic breakups, friends with benefits breakups, they can all be difficult and hard to get over. Well, buckle your seat belts, keep your hands and feet inside the ride, and get ready to learn how to move on! And, how not to (as explained through Friends, because there were a lot of breakups in Friends)

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1. Give yourself a freakin’ break, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY


Forcing yourself to continue trekking through life as if this breakup hasn't affected you will only lead to misery. Take some time for yourself; a 2009 study by a group of researchers at Northwestern University found that our sense of self is significantly affected after a breakup. And, as everyone says, time heals all wounds.

2. Take it all in, then LET IT GOOOOO


Trying to just forget everything you felt, good and bad, is only going to hurt you in the end. Suck it up, buttercup. Think about it, then let that shit go. Holding onto grief, anger, and frustration is only going to affect your quality of life negatively.

3. Get your own personal cheerleader


Time and time again, social support has proven to improve the speed and effectiveness of grieving and to help prevent serious declines in perceived self worth, according to a 2011 study. Ask a close friend to come over and play video games, go camping spontaneously, or whatever, really. Hell, call your parent(s) to talk about life, they're some of the best cheerleaders we've got!

4. Change up your space! (or your look)


Look around. How many of the things you have laying around remind you of your ex? Now, I'm not saying throw out all the old mementos (I'm a major sentimentality hoarder myself), but packing away trinkets and getting new items that have new memories associated with them can help bring life back into your space. Go shopping with a friend and let them pick the most atrocious lamp you've ever seen, and then put it on your coffee table. Why not?? Instead, or in addition to, you could treat yo' self and change your hair cut, or buy new glasses, get that makeup palette you were nervous about, purge your closet and then go shopping. Make your life feel like it's truly yours again.

5. Talk it out, or snark it up, with a friend

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So you have a personal cheerleader, now get someone who you know will listen to you. Talking through issues, especially with a trusted friend, can alleviate stress and reduce cortisol levels!! If you're not ready for a heart-to-heart, have some witty banter with a friend and move away from thoughts of your ex. Or bitch about your ex and celebrate your independence!

6. Break associations


Your guys' song? Association. Your favorite move to watch together? Association. Their fascination with elephants? Association. What do you do about this? Allow yourself to think about these things, but not in the context of your relationship. The more you think about something without the usual ex-related association, the less you remember the ex when it even does come up!

7. DO NOT repress your feelings


Talk about pouring Mentos into a bottle of Coke and then putting the cap on, am I right???? Feelings are going to leak out of you as you let them, or they're going to explode out of you. Repressing emotions and feelings will delay the healing process, and chances are, they'll also push your friends away.

8. DON'T eat your feelings. pls.


There's a big difference between curling up on the couch with Ben + Jerry's while watching reruns and eating every sweet and unhealthy thing you've got in your entire living space and then finishing a bottle of wine. Overeating is going to make you feel gross, and could potentially make you physically sick. Ruining your relationship with food, however temporarily, over an ex is not worth it. Trust me. You don't want to remember throwing up every time you eat Half Baked ice cream.

9. DON'T rebound (right away, that is)


Researchers Brumbaugh and Farley found that individuals who rebounded around seven months after the breakup reported higher levels of personal satisfaction and satisfaction in their relationship(s). While getting trashed and hooking up with the first person you see sounds appealing now (who wants to be alone???), rebounding too soon after a breakup can ultimately negatively impact your physical, emotional, and/or mental health.

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