1. The start of the "pantless" phase.
You've never hated anything as much as your child hates pants.
2. When your kid chooses a "favorite band"...and then refuses to listen to anything else.
And yeah, Frozen qualifies as a favorite band.
3. The scream.

There's no occasion when your child doesn't find a scream an appropriate response. Happy? Scream. Angry? Scream. Hungry? Scream. Excited? Scream.
4. When your toddler gets big into dancing in public.
If ya gots ta move, ya gots ta move.
5. When your kid dives for the biggest puddle.

Why does mud have such an allure for them? What is the appeal??
6. The universal ownership.
"Everything the light touches is mine. Everything is mine. Everything."
7. Mopey bedtime drama.
It's 9 p.m. Every night. This is not new information.
8. The sheer spread of the lunchtime mess.

I guess you need to try it to learn that you can't osmosis cake through your head.
9. The sheer 'tude.
Don't look at your parents like that! They created you.
10. The day your kid decides he's a hairdresser.

When you say "It'll grow back, it'll grow back" over and over, you're really reassuring yourself.
11. When your toddler decides everything deserves to be tasted.
No matter what it is. No matter how DIRTY it is. In fact, the dirtier the better.
12. The brute resistance of naptime.
You can barely keep your eyes straight. Just give in. Sleep.