1.
if I had a penny for every time I said "diet starts tomorrow"
2.
Stages of dieting 1. Read about new diet 2. Spend $300 on vegetables 3. Commit publicly to diet on FB 4. Dive head first into plate of bacon
3.
I was on a diet once but then I saw some pizza
4.
me: no thanks i'm on a diet hehe me 10 minutes later:
5.
Me: I’m going to be healthy Breakfast: fruit Lunch: sandwich Dinner: salad Midnight snack: large pizza, mac & cheese, a gallon of ice cream
6.
Diet Journal Day 1: 9:04 AM: Ate a cheesecake.
7.
When you're trying to lose weight and someone offers you fries.
8.
I'd like salad better if the lettuce was made of green fruit roll ups & the cherry tomato was a de-sticked cherry tootsie pop
9.
Friend: How's that diet going? Me:
10.
The doctor wants me to try an elimination diet. I started with fruits and vegetables.
11.
I would say my diet starts tomorrow but leftovers are a thing so we can just revisit this whole diet thing next week
12.
When I'm on a diet and my friends are eating cheeseburgers
13.
I almost cut my finger off cutting some celery to eat and all I could think is this never happens with cupcakes.
14.
I do really well on my diet for about 8-9 hours but then I wake up.
15.
me: i need to lose weight and start working out. also me:
16.
Me: We really need to start eating better. Husband: Yep. M: H: M: H: M: H: M: H: Me: Wanna just have nachos for dinner? Husband: YES.
17.
I used to have a really good workout playlist but it has turned into a really crazy hamburger eating playlist
18.
" How Is Your Diet Going?" me:
19.
I wonder how many pizzas and cheeseburgers I could've eaten with all the money I've wasted on unused gym memberships.
20.
Going for a walk because I want to stay healthy. Taking along a box of M&M's because let's be honest here.
21.
This summer i ' m gonna lose weight and be healthier