"And everything's on fire because you're in hell."
"I can't play the guitar, but I can play the griddle."
Do you think mornings are egg-cellent?
"How many chainz could 2 Chainz chain if 2 Chainz could chain chainz?"
"I feel so bad for my exes. Like, imagine losing me."
States and regions and provinces! Oh my!
"We're all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that's all."
"The doctor wants me to try an elimination diet. I started with fruits and vegetables."
Who would you want to watch these shows with?