1.
Require zero foreplay to get things going and have an orgasm, like, instantly.
2.
And then have instantaneous penetrative sex without lube.
3.
Moan for the ENTIRE time — from the second their partner touches them.
4.
Have on cute, matching, and (probably) very expensive lingerie...just so they can look like a "gift" for some dude.
5.
Wear a bra before, during, AND after sex.
6.
And, if they do remove their bra, there is always a magical sheet that covers their boobs, while the dude’s chest is fully exposed?
7.
Then that same bedsheet magically becomes the perfect dress while they walk away from bed.
8.
Have an orgasm “by accident” in a restaurant/park/somewhere in public where she just “doesn’t have control over it.”
9.
Never pee right after sex to help avoid a UTI.
10.
Have perfect shower sex where no one awkwardly slips…
11.
...or bangs their elbow into the shower door/wall/etc.
12.
Stand there like mannequins and, in just one hand motion, their dress/slip/nightgown DROPS to the floor.
13.
Wear the other person’s shit in the morning, which always conveniently fits perfectly.
14.
And/or always wear a man’s button-down dress shirt.
15.
Do a sexy, highly choreographed, striptease.
16.
Orgasm in slow motion, looking more like they’re in a shampoo commercial.
17.
Have their legs WAY UP in the air, like a flying “V.”
18.
And, finally, they never make one embarrassing sound. No queefing, no farting, no hilarious slapping noises. NOTHING.
